The nights are difficult

I used to stay up late into the night looking at porn and chatting on the hookup apps. Since giving it up I’ve had terrible difficulties with panic attacks and intrusive thoughts and anxiety. I’m beginning to think part of that behavior was related to trying to soothe my anxiety. Tonight I just lay here wide awake. Not full blown panic but definitely anxiety. And I have come to realize I don’t know how to self soothe in healthy ways.

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Welcome to the forum! You’re not alone with your struggles. First days can be difficult but just sit tight and it will eventually get easier. I know it’s easier said than done but that’s really the only way.

Addiction is many things, self soothing being one them. Great that you’ve acknowledged that it’s a start. Change is possible. Maybe this a coping method you’ve learnt at some point. You can break it and start learning new ones. Definitely work to find root causes of your addiction. Stick around and read here.

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Thank you for replying. I never dreamed that this many months out itb would still feel so awful. When I first started this quest I thought everything would be hunky Dory once I quit using porn and sex to cope. Wow was I wrong! It’s like peeling an onion… Layer after layer after layer of pain.

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All addicts have underlying reasons why they use. That’s why quitting alone isn’t enough to maintain sobriety. I can relate to that feeling of layers of pain. I’m sorry you’re hurting. Maybe it’s the first time you’ve faced those issues? Be patient and graceful with yourself. Recovery and healing take time so it’s ok not to be ok right now. Get help if you can, like SLAA, SAA, smart, etc.

All the best to you.

I go to SA and CR. The guys have been very supportive. I’ve learned a lot from reading the SA and AA literature. I’ve never really ever drank and never used substances. However, I’m amazed how much I relate the stories in the Big Book. Seems like we are all experiencing similar issues even if the drug of choice is different.

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Meditation is a good tool for me dealing with anxiety and when im laying awake trying to sleep at night, grounding technique to bring myself back to the present moment, helps me not think about the past when my addiction consumed all my time and energy

Clear my mind and all the negative stuff, imagine you have a backpack on, you load up with all your thoughts like rocks. When you keep piling them in there, putting them in when there is no more room you get weighed down to the point your stuck an if you had to float down river youd be taken under from all the extra BS you try to hold on to. So for me i have to learn how to not let my bag get full of stuff i dont need, thoughts, addictions, compulsive thinking, and negative people or influences are the rocks i weigh myself down with.:palms_up_together:Just have to learn to let them go

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Hey I appreciate that. I’m trying to let it go. I definitely can relate the analogy of the weight of it all causing a person to drown. I just keep praying “I surrender. And I’m Trusting you will make all things right.” And I pray the 3rd Step Prayer and others.

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Easy to say harder to do but when I learn how to give it up to God or a power greater than me it got a bit clearer they say ‘let go and let God’ i never did i would turn it over to God and take it right back the same day. I come to realize all things are possible with faith and hope men set free from imprisonment, redeemed, restored to sanity, given another chance to live and be happy is nothing short of a miracle. Just keep doing the work apply the readings and take it one step at a time one foot in front of the other!:+1:

I remember a sermon i heard ‘we pray for forgiveness on Sunday for the sins we committed on Thursday’ which we also probably do again on monday. Faith without works is dead so i have to just remember my principles and work towards that, to be a better human being.:innocent::+1: