The Real Red Derek Diaries of Syracuse


The way I see it she’s in master manipulation mode. If shay knows of that text, which chick is prolly praying you’ll share with her, it’ll likely pull at shays heartstrings. Could be classic hoovering. Like sucking shay back into a vortex of chaos. Also trying to present herself as some martyr saint by “giving you” shay. Or not.


After discussing this with the sponsor I have decided not to talk to Shay about the text. If it comes up I will, but honestly whatever is going on between them is not any of my damn business.


I agree! Dont get sucked into power struggles. Chick sounds like textbook borderline to me, but wth do I know from reading a few sentences from the interwebz. It’ll fall into place. Im predicting it wont be the last you’ve heard of chick. She’ll try to up the ante to evoke a reaction imo.


Yeah, I’m well prepared for that eventuality that she will cause problems. However, Shay is one hell of a head-strong woman, and that strategy usually backfires on the person trying it. Honestly, things have been going well lately and I don’t want to upset the apple cart. If Shay is happy being with both me and the ex, then I am happy with that. So this whole thing is upsetting the status quo. I want Shay back in the worst way, and want her all to myself obviously, but now that the possibility of that happening is real, it’s scary. I don’t know really. I did all this work on myself to put myself in the position to be ok with an “open” relationship, or just a co-parenting relationship. and now everything is changing again.


Also, can we all just stop for a second and appreciate just how amusing this all is. I know I make it sound serious and all, but this in no way life shattering. My crazy-ass life is hilarious. I kinda like it tbh. I know I want stability and everything, but I enjoy this sometimes. I know God has a plan and this will all work out the way I should, so I can just enjoy the ride.


This speaks to enjoying the ride imo. Nothing is all good or all bad imo.


What? Is she dying or something?


That’s literally so outlandish that it’s probably true given my circumstances. The weird part is that I don’t actually want to see her go, because it was making Shay happy. Lotsa feelings going on today, but in the end I want Shay to be happy. I know the ex really struggled with the fact that I am still around, and the fact that Shay and I are having a kid, and that I get to spend more time with Shay and all that type of stuff. So I don’t know if she just came to realize that she will never be able to handle it. I don’t know if she relapsed. I don’t know if Shay decided to pick one of us over the other. Hell, I don’t know if it was just some manipulation tactic. And honestly, I don’t want to know. So if Shay doesn’t bring it up, neither will I.


It sounds to me like she was in a “ poor me pour me pour me another drink” moment. Or another shot or whatever. But lots of woe is me in there


I think that it is one thing we can all agree on. Before her and Shay broke up I know that they were taking steps to have a kid through IVF, so to have Shay show back up a few months later carrying my child was probably a bit of a shock. I didn’t really think about that until now. I get that it sucks for her, but she also created her own mess by not staying sober. And I know she just wishes that I would bow out of the situation but that is not something I could do.


I’ve hardly read this thread… but what I have read makes me want to shout




When I first read the ex was back and all I thought “they sucked him into a trap”. You got them pregnant like they wanted in the first place and then you were getting kicked to the curb. Real life Days of Our Lives right here. I do hope this all works out in the way you wish and the best way possible for those littles.


The one constant in all this is that the babies come first.


I wish I could post a link to the ex’s facebook page. Shes going through the 5 stages of grief in like 12 hours. Shes onto anger right now. She’s already went through denial and acceptance.

What are the other two?


Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

I thought lols were in there somewhere. :confused:


Yeah she’s pretty much hit them all. Impressive.

In lighter news I just applied for a new job within my agency that is my actual dream job and could provide me a huge stepping stone to actually getting to run a rehab someday.


I thought you were moving to Florida?


Hes working on being a spokesman for passages malibu since the last one OD’d. Shhhh secrets


That’s a possibility, but its still 11 months away. Getting this job would actually be a big reason to stay put, because financially I would be much better off. It comes with a 33% pay raise, which would be very helpful. It would also provide me with a lot of skills to further my career in the recovery field. I am applying for the director of drug user health, which covers our medical clinic, syringe exchange and in-house std testing. I would be overseeing a large department within the agency. I would also be working with the local government in coordinating drug user services and I would get to be the point person on bringing a safe injection site to Syracuse.


No amount of raise is going to tackle that student loan debt, bro!