The Real Red Derek Diaries of Syracuse


#1184

If you read the WHOOOLLLE thread you have definitely been initiated!!!

The next step is to find yourself awaking in a casket that open to a dungeon “The skulls” style (anyone rember that movie)


#1185

This is awesome AF.
I can’t wait for the video. Also, my enviousness of the beard is real :sob:


#1186

I swear my life is 10x more interesting now that I’m clean.

One of my very good, lesbian, friends made an interesting request today. She wants me to be a sperm donor for her and her girlfriend to have another baby. It will be turkey baster method so we don’t need to go that route.

As funny as it is I’m actually conflicted about this. I wouldn’t have any rights per se (which is fine) but I would be in the kids life. But if I don’t end up having kids of my own I don’t know how I would feel about that kid being my only one.

There’s also the fact we are both addicts and I’m nervous about the child turning out like me.

I dunno, input please. I’m at a loss.


#1187

All the std testing…

That is what blew my mind about rehab romance. I was like “you guys know that we have no idea who is lying about having had needles hanging out of their arms and unprotected blackout sex mere weeks ago, right?” Anyway, just keep it in mind.


#1188

I’ve been tested twice since my last use. Full work up. But I will be getting another anyway.


#1189

Plus I will just be donating to a jar. No.physical contact. I haven’t talked to Kay about this yet either.


#1190

Isn’t hiv possible to have dormant for years? I am not trying to call you or her out, just think it through and be careful. You are conjuring life here. You don’t want to do it thoughtlessly like someone having bad nooner sex the day before a solar eclipse might have done.


#1191

I’ve shared a needle twice and they were both quite a while ago. Plus if it’s virally suppressed it can’t be transferred (I learned this at my new job :grin:)


#1192

That’s quite a compiment to be asked!
I know quite a few fabulous sperm donor babies, including two of my nephews. I’d suggest reviewing laws in your area just to double check. I know in Wisconsin a mother can sue for child support even if it was decided that the father would have no involvement.

As far as the emotional and mental, I’d just spend some time chewing on the idea if I were you. You’ll find an answer you’re comfortable with. I don’t know you at all but you seem pretty great, maybe the world needs more of you.


#1193

Luckily for me I was a family court attorney in a previous life so the law part is the only thing I’m not struggling with lol.

I also have a hang up that my friend and her girlfriend aren’t ready for another child. I kinda feel like that’s none of my damn business, but it’s also like part of me in that child and I don’t want to see bad things happen.

It’s going to be a long prayer/meditation session tonight


#1195

That’s what I was gonna say, if ur serious with kay u better clear it by her first lol


#1196

One of my male clients did this for his lesbian friend and her wife. The couple really did a lot of research and thinking about it and had a whole contract all written up and everything. He doesn’t have rights but is in the kids life. I asked him if that was hard and he didn’t seem bothered by it at all. I’m almost 99% sure he’s an alcoholic too, but…also he does have a 12 yr old daughter of his own. He did say that he got into a heated argument w his gf at the time (she did not like the idea at all) and actually broke up over it. Personally if you’re not like years into your relationship or married I don’t really feel like its any of her business. It’s YOUR body, YOUR seed, YOUR decision. Just saying… = rights right? So totally up to you, but I think it would be wonderful gift to them. ( although I’m still scratching my head over them actually wanting another little D running around…) :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye: muahaha


#1197

Lol, I wonder about them with little Ds running around too. But for as much as I’m not a kid person, I actually do really well with her 9 month old.

As far as Kay goes it seems weird to hide something like that. So if it feels weird it’s probably not good. Her and the girl really get along so she will probably be all for it.

I still have to talk to my sponsor. This doesn’t have anything to do with my recovery so he probably won’t care, but he’s also my friend so he will have something to say in that capacity lol


#1198

yeah I think that’s a smart plan. I wasn’t thinking hide it from her, def tell her, but if she ends up being the only reason you wouldn’t I would say it’s not a good enough one. But yeah gotta respect.
And sponsors… Sponsors are just freaking wise! Mine ALWAYS has the best most level headed advice. Sometimes I wonder how I ever made decisions before her. Oh yeah I did…, I made A LOT of bad ones!..


#1199

My sponsor was just as fucked up as I am. He hasn’t used in over 7 years. He’s really good on step work too. I need lots of guidance there bc if I start doing shit my own way then shits gonna get ugly


#1200

Oh man DITTO!


#1201

I once thought about being an egg donor to my best friend who has a genetic anomaly. After I threw it out there and really started to think about it, it got very complicated very fast.

Perhaps it is the maternal part of me but I thought I’d always be invested in how they raise the kid, how it turned out, what happened if the parents die in a plane crash and I’d feel compelled to have the child come to me, lots of complicated and random factors.

If you don’t have an investment in the kid in a way that’s greater to an investment you would have to their other kids that would free you up.

They have a nine-month-old right now? I understand preplanning but adding another child right now seems quick.

I dunno, it’s so messy and addicts should limit our participation in messy things.:upside_down_face:


#1202

So I talked with Kay and she’s definitely okay with it if that’s what I choose. She brought up the same issues I have already been thinking about so that’s good that I’m at least worrying about the right issues.


#1203

You know who got asked this once too for a good friend who was worried that she was aging out and wasn’t going to find someone before that happened?

You know who said that he loved this friend and would give his life for hers?

You know who decided not to do it bc hurdy durdy legal mumbo jumbo… Isnt real life. Is your friend gonna lie when the kid says who my daddy?What if the kid goes looking? You gonna tell the kid to fuck off, he ain’t no son of yours?

What about all this happens and the woman or man you marry, has issues with it?

There is absolutely no reason you have to be involved for them to conceive. No ups for you and all the downs.


#1204

I think I just spent an hour reading this thread, but I had to get the full story. 3 things I took away from this thread:

  1. I thought my dating life was disastrous…It’s nothing compared to this saga
  2. I read the word buffalo and thought it’s been a while since I made my hot wings :joy: Foodie for life! :poultry_leg: (I know this is a chicken leg, but it was the only chicken part emoji they had)
  3. All the bicylce talk reminded me I need to get my bike tires lined and new tubes installed sooner than later
    I must be tired.