The Real Red Derek Diaries of Syracuse


What in the world did I just read and why did I spend so much time reading it?!? :joy::joy:


The thread was aptly named.


I feel like I just went on a very strange rollercoaster ride lol


What ever happened here? Did anyone get locked up? Any more footwear flamed?


I suppose I should update today sometime


Haha, yes, please do. I just now read about the relapse disaster and I’m hooked! Totally glad you made the right choice about sperm donating. Also, when the hell are we gonna get video clips from your interview? I know it takes time to get that shit together but I’m an addict and I want it NOW!

I sometimes worry about “not having a program,” but I totally do. Don’t know why I think going to an addiction center once a week doesn’t count. Or the stuff I learned in 4 months of IOP. The therapy and psychiatrist. Who the hell knows.


My life has been pretty low key since that blow up. I know a whole week of normalcy, right?

I, too, would like the video clips. Today is one month from the premier lol.

That counts as a program.


@beyondmythoughts those are very good questions. Ones I can’t answer.


I know it’s a program, but sometimes I just don’t realize it is for some reason. If it wasn’t I would have drank on Sunday. It was the most difficult day in the last six months or so. But all the conditioning I have in place kicked right in and when I left work all I thought about was coming home and burning cities down on my PC. At work I was struggling like CRAZY! I hated EVERYONE! But as soon as I changed my shoes (a weird thing I do at the end of the day) my mind wiped itself blank and I started my “real” day. Bam, urges gone!


I will say this. You would have loved, or hated my meeting last night. 17 people, I was the only guy. At least 5 lesbians, of all varities. All good looking lol.


And then I would have turned into you! Haha, I would have gotten numbers, but probably for the wrong reason.

If you do end up coming down here you will have to drag me to a meeting. At some point I need to see if I am missing out on shit or not.


Definitely. Even though I would feel bad if it sucked. Maybe road trip to see @Clay91?


Definately a road trip!

Once I walk in the door I’m the type that would give it more than one chance. Just gotta get through that door.


Only thing that kept me going in the beginning was the need to have hope in something.


There is nothing wrong with meeting new friends. Obviously you are attracted to her, but that doesn’t mean you have to get involved or stay away. Just be her friend for a time, try not to get caught up in the what-ifs.


Honestly this thread is convoluted and sideways I’m not sure who you are talking about lol.


I see that, there is way more to this thread than what I was replying to and now I can’t find what I was replying to. It was about a girl you met at a coffeeshop or somewhere.


Ahhh. Yes, now I know. She’s out of the picture. I saw her a couple weeks ago. She goes by N___ on this thread to protect anonymity lol


Oh, yea I should have looked at the date I guess. These threads are very frustrating to navigate sometimes. Sorry bout that.


This one is particularly long. I think I started it back in April sometime. It really picked up the first weekend in May.

@MoCatt I think your services are called for lol