The Real Red Derek Diaries of Syracuse


#1678

I’m glad you two are around to keep me humble


#1679

Aren’t you babysitting?


#1680

I kinda am too.


#1681

That little girl sleeps better than any one. She hasn’t made a peep. I even had time to do the dishes and laundry


#1682

Just wait, my dear. Eventually she will turn 2.:flushed:


#1683

Or 3. I heard the term threenager the other day for the first time and lost a few minutes to the giggles.


#1684

Good thing I have a solid group of sober folks to talk to for advice :grin:


#1685

Right? I’m almost there. Finn turns 3 in October.


#1686

I wish I had a dollar for every time I hear, “No, Mama! Imma do it all by myself!!!


#1687

gazes into the crystal ball

You are going to be sobbing on our shoulders soon when you realize lesbians go straight for free jizzers and then go back to beef curtains when they have what they want. You’re being midterm conned for the opportunity to rob you of your semen.


#1688

U mean like this? Haha


#1689

Then this is the greatest con job of all time. Being a former junkie and straight up savage con man myself I can spot a play 6 moves in advance. You don’t think I haven’t run through that scenario? I mean she’s definitely not shy about wanting another kid, but she also knows that it happening right now. If she actually gets one over on me I will be nothing but impressed. My natural state of being is skepticism so I already looked at the angles.


#1690

That is the funniest thing I’ve seen in ages. Thank precious heavens that my boys have not yet learned that phrase!:joy::rofl:


#1691

Watch out for begging for super rough condom sex and offers to wrap you up with her mouth then.


#1692

Dont worry, in a couple weeks he will come back to his senses and realize bacon is his one true love. Also he doesnt have to change for bacon. Bacon loves him the way he is. Hopefully he doesnt sign the lease before then.


#1693

Bacon doesn’t love skinny people.


#1694

Yes it does, bacon loves everybody…I think Munch would say that maybe skinny people dont love themselves :thinking:


#1695

LOL. bumblebee


#1696

Are you sure she’s still breathing? :wink:


#1697

I missed something…is she vegan? Why did you have to give up bacon? I can give up booze, but bacon grease is in my blood. They call it cholesterol. :rofl: