Feeling really thrown off right now. An old friend of mine from back home, who I have chatted alot with over the years (she has/had 10 years clean), has started sending me strange messages, being very distant, and now today she’s is asking for money… saying she needs it for her babies milk and diapers. I chatted with her the other day and got a sense something was up. I got a very bad feeling about everything. I deleted her off fb bcuz I felt like something was up. I’d ask her if she was OK. Would never answer the question. Now a few min ago she just messaged me again trying to guilt trip me into giving her money. Even if literally had the money to send I wouldn’t send it. Spoke to a mutual friend of ours and asked if she had contact with our friend as I was worried about her. She said she wasn’t doing well. I gave her a resource centee for back home where she can get diapers n milk for her child. But I explained to her I can’t send her $$. Anyway, this is really creating alot of anxiety and other emotions in me. I’m not sure why. I worry about her and her baby. I really hope she’s OK. I had to block her messages 
idk. I’m really thrown off. Any advice on what is going on with me and my emotions would be helpful right now. I definitely don’t want to use. I just need to figure out why I’m feeling this way. Maybe this is what it feels like being on the other end of an addicts tactics? Maybe this is showing me what it’s like when an addict tries to manipulate you? Showing me what I had done to others? If so, I dont like it and I’m disgusted with myself with how I used to act.
Edit to just now… she apparently posted 22 hours ago on fb and is selling all her baby stuff including huge cans of formula and virtues n everything. Like I feel like she’s using. I feel like she may have lost her baby to protective services or something. I need to set those boundaries. I know I didn’t make a mistake in doing that.
You’re worried. I think anyone who cared about someone would be worried in this situation.
We may be addicts in recovery but we still have feelings like everyone else does, and we worry about our acquaintances and friends just as much as anyone else would. It’s painful to watch someone lose the sobriety they’ve worked for; it hurts; we grieve.
You grieve. You see loss; you feel it.
You did the right thing pointing her to resources. You are also doing the right thing (for you and for her) by not enabling her with cash.
It’s ok to worry about her. It’s also ok to worry about yourself here. The thing that’s hardest about this is seeing how vulnerable you are: in her, you see the same vulnerability as you see in yourself - and that sense of connection and sympathy is what makes this so heartbreaking.
Keep sharing. Find strength in your sober supports. The best thing you can do for your friend is to be grounded in sobriety, so that you can walk a path for you & your friends, with a sober, wise mind.
I just have to watch who i associate with its easy to take on another persons greif or anxiety or just their views on the world. I need to stay attentive in my recovery. People can wear off on us when we least expect it and we take on their troubles. But our sence of compassion can only do so much to help anothers without enableing, i hope that she is able to not judge you for the boundary you set. Stand firm in your sobriety and help only if you truely can.
It scares me. I hate seeing her like that. I definitely see myself in her and I don’t like it ur right tho… I need to stay on track so that if she does reach out for support one day, I can be there for her (as long as it is safe to do so fof my own recovery). Thank you for your insight 
I hope so too. I have a feeling she’s pissed off but that’s not my stuff to carry. I had to set boundaries (thank u for putting a word to this, cuz thats what I did). Thank u for ur advice. I needed needed hear that, to stay focused on my recovery
Speaking of boundaries, Eric posted some valuable insight about this last week - you may find it helpful 
Oh thank u! I haven’t read that post yet. I’ll do that for sure. I’m just so over tense n stressed n worried n I’m shaking and idk lol I’m not in anyway worried about using tho
Feel your feels. It’s a lot to handle but you have the stability to let them flow.
It’s a bit like electricity. There’s a current running through you now. But - like electricity - you’re grounded in yourself and your well-being (your sober strategies like reaching out, breathing & meditative techniques, and if necessary finding a meeting or another source of immediate support online) - and because you’re grounded, you’ll be safe.
Let it flow & keep in touch, don’t isolate. Let it flow & it will pass. You are safe, life is safe, you are safe.