I started smoking weed when I was about 12 years old. What started as just trying it quickly turned into an everyday thing. By the time I was a teenager it was just normal life for me.
At 16, my life changed forever. My girlfriend at the time—who is now my wife—and I had our first child. We were just kids ourselves trying to figure life out while raising a baby. Over the years we went on to have three more kids together. Being a young dad wasn’t easy, but my family has always been the most important thing in my life.
When I was 21, I decided to quit smoking weed. The first two weeks were rough. I started having really intense nightmares and wasn’t sleeping properly. Instead of pushing through it, I made a decision that I thought at the time was smart—I smoked again to “self-medicate.”
That decision turned out to be one of the biggest mistakes of my life.
I had a panic attack. The next day I woke up with the worst anxiety I’d ever experienced. It felt like I was constantly on edge, like another panic attack was about to happen at any moment.
So again, thinking I was being clever, I tried another way to self-medicate.
I had a drink.
About six drinks in and suddenly I felt normal again. I could go down the street, see friends, and function. But as some of you probably already know, that’s how it starts.
After six months those six drinks turned into twelve. After a year I was drinking a whole carton. The anxiety came back, the depression got stronger, and my life slowly started falling apart.
I would sleep most of the day and stay up alone at night listening to sad music, feeling lower than I’d ever felt in my life.
This went on until I was 27.
Over the course of about a month I wasn’t feeling great, but to me it didn’t seem that different. My solution was the same as always—drink more. Then things got really bad. I started hallucinating and seeing things that weren’t there. I don’t like talking about that part too much. I don’t remember much of it, and the parts I do remember I try to forget.
The next thing I knew, I woke up in the ICU after being in a coma for a week.
My kidneys were shutting down. My liver was failing. One of my lungs had collapsed from RSV. I had bacteria on my heart. Several doctors later told me they honestly didn’t think I was going to make it.
When I woke up and saw my wife standing there, I couldn’t speak because I had a breathing tube in. But I could cry. Seeing how scared she was… that was the biggest wake-up call of my life.
That moment changed everything.
I’m now over three years sober.
I still struggle with anxiety, and some days are harder than others. But now I push through it for my wife and our kids. Life isn’t about me anymore—it’s about them.
Thankfully I didn’t end up with permanent damage, and about six months ago I got a clean bill of health, which I’m incredibly grateful for.
In a strange way, I was lucky. Being in that coma meant my body went through most of the detox while I was unconscious. After the panic attack with weed, I was too scared to ever touch it again. And after everything that happened with alcohol, I never wanted to go near that either.
My hand was kind of forced—but I still work every day to stay sober.
I have huge respect for anyone who is trying to quit on their own. That takes real strength.
I’m still young and still learning a lot about life. But if sharing my story helps even one person start their own path to getting better, then it’s worth telling.
God bless everyone here who is trying. You’re stronger than you think.
What a story!!! When I got to the part where you said you were sober for 3 years I was cheering for you. And you still are!! I know your story will help others. Welcome!
Thank you for sharing! Your story has helped one person at least….me. This evening I’ll hit 2 days sober. Not much in the big scheme of things. Your story is a great example of what can happen to someone who lets their alcohol intake go unchecked. Those wake-up calls are real, and they can change your life for sure. OR.. like me, you can be wishy-washy, always wanting to be sober but always going back to it after things get too difficult without the alcohol. Your story reminds me to think about all the close-calls and near-deaths, all the pain, the hurt, how I hurt others, all the ways that it has led to chaos and destruction in my life. I’m going to be thinking about this story all day to give me strenth to carry me over to day 3. Thanks again.
What a beautiful testimony. Thank you for sharing such a vulnerable part of your story; and thankfully, it’s not over yet! 