The Tragic Cycle Repeats

I used a lot of different substances when I was in highschool and prior. At a certain point I was deep in the rabbit hole of addiction. It took me almost 3 years to realize I couldn’t live like this anymore. Getting high or intoxicated by anything that came my way multiple times a day or when ever I could. I dug this ditch on both sides of my life pathe at the time. Looking back I don’t know how much of it was just not caring about myself or my actions, or just purely being trapped in the mindset of this is somehow good for me. I dug myself out at the age of 18 and went to meetings every morning instead of going to my animation class. For 8 months I was completely sober, and I don’t mean half sober here and there. COMPLETELY. I didn’t even smoke cigarettes and lemme tell you that was not easy. After sometime I decided that it would be okay for me to smoke weed medicinally again because it’s very helpful for various medical problems I have. Anyways for the last I don’t know 3 almost 4 years I’ve been happily smoking weed medicinally and drinking here and there. I finally was starting to feel like a normal adult. Not just “that addict”. In the last year I had a lot of family hardships. I was adopted as a child, my mom ws 16 when she had me and had used meth and heroin during my entire pregnancy. When I found her something clicked in my brain, that rush of addiction hit me at full force once again. I had been shackled by my own thoughts and burried with regret. This past year I have struggled with staying clean off of one thing and one thing only cocaine. It has ruined me and my relationships around me and I’m ready to work on myself and be happy again. 4 days sober, many more to come.

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Hey welcome to the forum man. Cocaine did the same thing to me, almost killed myself because of it. Lost everything, completely hit rock bottom. Anyways congrats on your four days. Anytime I drank. I always wanted coke, so I had to give up everything anytime I drank or was around a party type of crowd I needed to have coke. I know it will always be the same if I try to drink again ever. 4 beers in and I’ll be wanting the coke. I have 281 clean from everything, their are some awesome ppl here. Feel free to message me and chat anytime brother. Youre right those 8 months you had were not easy, but they were probably some of the most maneagble times

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Glad to be here…well I’m glad I’m taking steps to stay clean not glad I have to be here. I’m thankful for having something like this right now. When I got sober before when I was younger I did it all on my own because no one close to me knew I was even using until I got sober. This time around it feels a lot harder trying to do it all on my own so I’m trying to reach out for support that I definitely need right now. I’m tired of struggling alone :sleepy::ok_hand:

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