It’s been 40 days since I last had a drink - a night out with a friend which could have easily ended up with me in hospital or in a police cell.
Since then I have learnt a lot about what it means to live a sober life free from the safety blanket of alcohol. Here are a random collection of some of my experiences thus far.
The first 3 weeks were the hardest. Particularly that third weekend. I got an extra kick on the fourth weekend because It was the last weekend before a month, but that third weekend was torture.
I wasn’t a night owl, I was a drunk. I have spent most of my life thinking “I’m not a morning person”. I now rarely wake up after 8am and love being up with the birds. My sleep is 1000x better.
Being sober has opened my eyes to how much was triggering me to drink. Uncomfortable feelings. Drink. Injured myself running. Drink. Friend at works birthday. Drink. Friday. Drink. Tuesday for no reason at all. Drink.
Being sober makes you realise how much time you loose. Being sober is a double edged sword. On the one hand you can find yourself bored and missing alcohol. On the other hand you have far more time to fill that boredom in. Not a bad thing.
My identity and values are changing so quickly. Being sober has made me more empathetic and aware of how my behaviour effects others. I can feel myself doing more good now and no longer have to lie about things. Sobriety flows over into every other aspect of my life in a positive way.
My skin is 1000 times better. My teeth and gums are 1000 times better. My mood is far more up and down, but generally more stable. Colours appear to be more vivid. I can smell again, I appreciate the little things and am more present.
People like me more. My family can see the change in me. I’m more respected/taken more seriously at social gatherings and havent fallen out with anyone since I stopped drinking.
I am learning to compartmentalise my anxieties. Previously I would drink and the anxiety would grow. Not drinking has forced me to put my anxieties in a box without judgement of myself. Overall my anxiety is 1000 times better than it was.
And finally LIFE IS GOOD! Sobriety isn’t perfect. It’s not all rainbows and butterfly’s but even when it sucks I’ve tried to remember that it’s a hell of a lot better than never having a weekend. Always having to apologise. Loosing relationships and feeling sick all the time.
Oh and also how good is coffee