Think I'm ready

To start again. It’s no excuse, but once I relapsed 2 weeks ago, I was like well…fuck it. I had a wedding coming up (just this Sat.) and just couldn’t imagine doing it sober with so little time. So I didn’t stop.

I stopped resetting because I was drinking nearly every day with a few exceptions. I didn’t NEED to drink, the cravings weren’t always there, but I knew I had a deadline and in a twisted way was making the most of it? Lol, I know, the mind of an addict.

What I did want to share was how upset I was waking up at 1am following the night of the wedding. We pretty much were drinking all day. Mimosas starting at 8:30am while we were getting ready, breakfast beer then beer and whiskey the whole day through. I got so messed up, at one point, I remember thinking, I’m not going to remember this, I think I’m in a black out.

Yeah, don’t remember much after that. There are these amazing pictures on my phone, and I don’t remember taking them, being in them, etc. It’s weird. I even had a whole conversation in text with my sister - that’s just gone. No memory whatsoever.

So after waking up at 1am I was panicking the whole night (no, I didn’t sleep) about what I said, did I get in a fight? Did I piss off the bride? Why were my husband and I fighting on the way home (I remember crying in the car). On top of that, horrible feelings of guilt for leaving my daughter with my sister, (who agreed to that? Is that what my daughter wanted?) And leaving all my crap at our airbnb, which my sister ended up picking up.

Everything ended up fine. I apparently did behave myself, but it’s the crazy not knowing, because I’ve made an ass of myself before and for sure am capable of doing it again. Anyways, this was a long rant. Today is day 2. Groggy and tired. Glad I didn’t drink yesterday. Glad I have you guys. :blush:

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Chin up, you can do it!

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In autumn I relapsed at my office party and luckily nothing bad happened either, although I blacked out several times. However, it didn’t take long until my continuing drinking brought me right back to the bad situations as well. Glad to have you back ready to start again. No reason to tempt the faith. You got this! :slight_smile:

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I had to ask my sister the next day to summarize what happened. Lol, no way was I going to ask my husband. It has to be the worst feeling when you have no idea. Anything could’ve happened really, ugh. Not being in control is scary.

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Bloody weddings! They should ban them!

Seriously though glad you’re back. You were a major help in getting me to 70 days. We’ve got your back and you’re back amongst the wolfpack.

Chin up, straighten your dress, and start to dazzle sweetheart. Front foot forwards soldier.

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Oh yeah, that is the worst. Glad nothing bad happened though!

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Hey girl heyyyy, so happy you’re back and on day 2!!

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Hey hey @Elisabeth! Glad you’re back! I, too, am back at day 2. We can do this!! :nerd_face:

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Thanks, that means a lot to me. :blush:I know I wouldn’t haven’t gotten that much time without the support of several individuals on here. Thank god for my forum family!

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I’m sorry you had a set back. Welcome back You can do this.

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Yeaaaaaay for day two xxx

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Yeeees @Elisabeth! Glad to have you back with open arms :heart_eyes:

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Haha, puppies!!!

Wonderful @Elisabeth so glad to hear you are rolling your sleeves up and getting back on track.

Stay strong x

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Welcome back and congratulations on making it through the first two days! Why are there so many weddings?! I feel like you’ve had to go to like 40 in the past few months lol.

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It just feels like that, seriously! :wink:

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Thank you!!! Kind of scared to get back at it, but i feel ready.

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Welcome back!! We’re all behind you, with you and here for you! :purple_heart::yellow_heart::green_heart:

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Remember to keep this little app handy, it has got me through the last 3 weeks. Thanks to everyone on the forums, you are the best!! Keep going Elizabeth, you can do this !!

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Welcome back! So glad you are here, your posts have always been really helpful to me.

The social pressure to drink is very hard to deal with.

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