When I think about sobriety, I imagine how drinking events, i.e (bbq’s, camping, floating the river, gathering with friends, etc.) are going to be so boring. I imagine I’ll let myself drink during those times because, honestly, it would be totally uncomfortable NOT to. Play along and imagine floating the river with a group of friends, and you’re the only one drinking water…Doesn’t sound too appealing, does it?
I can’t say I haven’t thought about that but for me that’s not an option. Once I start I don’t stop and I’d rather be the sober one watching how ridiculous the drunks look and remembering my night. My friends are pretty awesome and I know none of them would make me feel like the odd one or uncomfortable so the only one that would make me uncomfortable is myself. And I’m actually looking forward to learning to enjoy events sober and be fully aware of what’s going on. But that’s a personal choice that we all have to make for ourselves. ️:hibiscus:
Well I can understand that the thought sounds nice, but sobriety is NOTHING to play around with. When was the last time you had just one drink? And if you can answer oh this time or that time, but is that your reality today? what if you were to have one drink and couldn’t stop at that one? Or what if you did it that time, had just one, but the next time you had a few, then the next time had a few more. Until reality hits that I don’t drink like a normal person. Our disease lies to us, remember that, it lies and tells us i can just drink at events. Who cares if your drinking water when everybody us has alcohol, bet they don’t say all that much to you. They don’t care from my experience. They may say why arent you drinking and I just simply say not today, or no thanks when it’s offered. If they’re true friends they will understand… Remember though, not everyone is an alcoholic, and can drink like a normal person. I know today that there is no just one drink for me… I know today that I’ll drink everyday eventually, if I just drink at events. I wouldn’t have gotten sober in the first place if I could have just drank at events ya know. These lies had to be smashed for me. I had to be told like it was and that was the honest truth…
i’m w what @Riea said. drinking isn’t an option for me. i’d rather remember what i did and not bring the overall fun had by others down by being passed out in a canoe (or on the ground at whatever hypothetical social event).
Actually @4nic8er it sounds very appealing. Maybe I’ll be drinking ice tea or a ginger beer or water. It doesn’t really matter…I love being sober. It’s like I took off my black and white glasses and am now seeing and hearing and feeling everything in color. Life is so much more vibrant without being numb. I don’t need alcohol to have a good time…that’s the lie alcohol and moderation try to sell me. But I’m not buying into that anymore!
If you see sobriety as a punishment rather than the biggest gift you can ever give yourself, and only focus on how boring everything is without a drink, then it will be very hard for you to recover. Do you want to be sober, or do you want to drink? Is drinking on these odd occasions something that can stay within these events? Eventually, won’t you start drinking again more and more often? I’m asking because you are here, then clearly you must believe you have a drinking problem. It is completely normal to be scared at the thought of sobriety in your early days. You haven’t even given it a fair chance. And by that I truly mean, a fair chance. To really appreciate life sober, and not being upset over the fact that you can’t drink while others are.
There are more ways to spark fun at a party other than drinking. Try being yourself. When your drunk you don’t act the way you normally would. Just let people see the true you. They will appreciate it for the most part. My freshman year of college I was invited to a part where alcohol was being served. I don’t drink because I desire to do it and because I litteraly can’t because of medical conditions. It didn’t stop me from having fun with my friends tho. We sat around ant talked and watched old anime movies. Spending time with friends can be fun with out you drinking. You got to make the most of it. Plus I’m sure not everyone will be drinking. In my case, me and the sober girl who drove me to the party went off to into another room to umm “had our own party” I DON’T CONDONE FRIENDS WITH BENIFITS IT WAS A BIG MISTAKE. my point being is that u can find ways to have fun at events like that and not get drunk. And who knows you ight find someone you like and you will definitely want to remember that.
@Courtney_Smith. Spot on.
Keep in mind that is the alcoholic brain talking to you. It tells you that you NEED to drink, that you HAVE to drink, that it would be BETTER if you did. But the alcoholic brain LIES LIES LIES.
I’m not saying it won’t be awkward or uncomfortable at first but really in the long run you’ll be better for staying sober. And if you don’t want to be the only one drinking water, bring along some non-alcoholic cocktails. Maybe you can fool that alcoholic brain into thinking it is drinking without all the negative consequences.
And if your friends are dicks about you not drinking…well, then they are just dicks, period.
@4nic8er Lots of really good advice above. You need to make a decision and it is a very important one. A lifetime of sobriety or . . . well you know. Good luck.
I do want to add…I think these same thoughts ALL THE TIME!! I hate the idea of never being able to enjoy a glass of wine on my birthday or, my God, I just realised I won’t champagne toast my daughters at their weddings. It sucks. But do you know what sucks worse? Being a drunken fool on your birthday…or at your daughters’ weddings. It just isn’t worth it. We are people who are not meant to drink socially. If we were…we wouldn’t be here.
I simply know alcohol is not for me. I would rather enjoy being sober and not having hangover next morning. Also true freind never force you to drink. I would rather will not go to those parties.
The language that you used when you called these “drinking events” is troublesome as if bbq’s, camping, river floating and even all friend gatherings are there solely for the purpose of drinking. It’s better to think of them as events where alcoholic drinks are one of the beverage options available. If you find them boring without alcohol then you are best off finding something else to do.
Sorry that sounds harsh and I realise that I felt the same in the first few days sober. If you stick with being sober longer you will probably re-awaken to the regular old fun in things.
I am going to a pot luck dinner tonight. There won’t be any drinking because it’s Wednesday. I am going because I like this group of ladies and I want to know what’s going on in their lives.
I thought the same thing. I thought social situations would suck, but they really haven’t. I have been to a MLB game, annual bbq, a vineyard and a 40th birthday party. All of which had Ridiculous amounts of alcohol. I was worried i would be bored stiff. I dreaded going to each but on the long run I had fun. My friends barely notices as they were more concerned on getting drunk themselves. I did not want to avoid these situations because I didn’t want to allow alcohol to stop me. I have been drinking fever tree ginger beer so I still Up have something in my hand. Worrying about the events is much harder than being there and not drinking. Good luck and enjoy
Prior to this time, during my previous periods of sobriety I always had in my head when I would drink again, there was always an event where I thought, I’m proving I can be sober, I’ll have a drink at that wedding, concert, on holiday etc. It always led to full blown relapse eventually.
This time I am never thinking about when I will drink again, I am waking up each day and choosing to be sober and I am happy this way. I have been to a wedding, a weekend in Amsterdam and other social gatherings and have been comfortable sober as for that day it was my choice and alcohol was not an option.
If you are an alcoholic, then I agree with others, this is the addict in your brain at work, I would suggest working on this and getting comfortable with your sobriety. My personal view now is sobriety is much less boring than drinking and all the repercussions that arise from it, it might initally seem like fun, but it soon becomes a nightmare and a vicious cycle we get caught up in.
I was not managing my life, alcohol was managing it, will it manage you too? I hope you find serenity and learn how much better a sober life is, start discovering it.
You could drink right now if you wanted too. What’s stopping you??
I’ve just returned form a ‘drinking event’. 5 days at Glastonbury festival, everyone was drinking or doing drugs. People were off their heads 24 hours a day. I have never felt so glad to be sober.
I saw a man muttering to himself, unable to stand (that could have been me), I heard someone vomiting into the compost toilets (that could have been me), I saw people pass out on the walkways (that could have been me), I saw someone that had wet themselves (that could have been me). But instead, I had an amazing experience that I will REMEMBER. I didn’t upset anyone or make a prat of myself and I had money to buy a pretty dress, some nice jewellery and eat some incredible food.
These events are whatever you make them. Look at the fun you could have, if you can’t see the fun; do something else.
You only have today !!
Drinking water or soda while floating down the river in a tube…while everyone gets sh!# faced and won’t be able to function tomorrow…while I’ll be meeting friends early for breakfast and enjoying my day. Yep, sounds pretty appealing. You’re just not there yet. I’ve done lots of things sober and it’s awesome. I get to enjoy things without consequences. When I felt the need to pour alcohol down my throat to have a good time and not feel bored…I knew there was something wrong. Am I that boring? Why can’t I just live in reality? Why do I feel the need to poison myself to have a good time? Does society feed that sheep “getting drunk is perfectly normal” mentality to us? I needed to really look at those things.