This is my story, tell me yours too

I’m new here. I’ve had the app for months, but I never got around to exploring it until 3 days ago. I think it’s time I actually introduce myself. I’m 20 years old, and I’m 9 months clean. I was addicted to pain pills, of any kind. I tried herion and cocaine, but those never stuck. I would do 6+ pills a day if I had them. It was affecting my life. I have a 3yr old daughter, I was addicted to drugs before I got pregnant. Once I found out, I stopped. After I had her I was fine. I was taking my pain meds from having her like I should’ve. No problems, nothing. Until I was out. I needed more. My whole life I’ve been around drugs. My mom was an addict, my dad still is. Pretty much everyone in my family were addicts. Parents, sister, brothers, cousins, etc. Finally I realized what I was doing wasn’t only affecting me, but my daughter too and my relationship with her father. I decided I couldn’t do that to them anymore, and especially myself, and went to get help. 9 months later, I’m doing online schooling (I dropped out of school due to drugs), and my life is thriving. Of course I have my days, but i get through them. If you’ve read this far, tell me your story. I’d love to hear it.

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Hi Sally,my names Gareth and I’m a recovering heroin addict,I know that the pain pills are bad enough but I’m so glad that heroin didn’t strike that chord with you. I don’t have enough time to share my story right now but welcome, I am glad that your here. Have a good read around there is a lot of good threads covering everything just waiting for you to search them out so pull up a chair and get comfortable. :slight_smile::slight_smile:

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Hi Sally, my name’s Matt and I’m a recovering sex addict. Porn and masturbation were part of my life when I was a teenager but after I started my career & life I noticed I was isolating and I’d be taking sick days because of exhaustion. I would lose hours, days, even whole weekends just clicking from one thing to the next. Even after I got married I kept choosing the fantasy of porn instead of real intimacy and love. Eventually I realized, this is a problem. I don’t know what healthy sex feels like but this can’t be it.

I started therapy a few years ago and after some experimenting I’ve found a clinic that is helping me. I have a good job now and I have shared my recovery with my wife and she is such a blessing for how she listens and supports me non-judgmentally. I speak with her openly about how I feel, my sense of inadequacy and vulnerability, and she has really worked hard to understand how I was escaping, and how she can support me to be stronger and more engaged in our marriage.

It has been a long road and I am still walking it (just left my first SMART recovery meeting, which I took time from my work day to attend - 100% the right thing to do). I’m scheduling all the SMART recovery meetings in my city, into my weekly calendar (4 meetings a week). I’m determined to share, and communicate, and build healthy growth relationships. I am not a broken human. I am just a normal human. We’re all growing and learning how to be in our lives. I am grateful to have the chance to explore my path forward :innocent:

Thanks for opening this thread! It’s great :+1:t2:

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Just out of curiosity and lack of knowledge, may i ask if its possible to have a “normal sexlife” relationsship wise when having a sexaddiction or is that completely ruined ? Also is it possible having sex while being in recovery, i mean with sex being a natural need of humanbeings?

Sorry if this is an offending question. And sorry for asking this question in this thread, when its about stories. Just got curious while reading your story.

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Not at all, that is a totally normal question, doesn’t bother me at all. I’ll go through each of your questions in order:

A) Is it possible to have a normal sex life?
Yes - in the sense that normal sex is about desire, exploration, communication, openness, and healthy vulnerability and intimacy. One of the most incredible gifts of recovery (no matter what drug or behaviour) is how you appreciate your incompleteness, and your worries and yearnings and passions, and accept them without escaping. So in that sense recovery has actually improved the sex life of me and my wife substantially.

B) Is it possible to have sex while in recovery from sex addiction?
Yes. It is valuable to have a short period of celibacy - I did 30 days myself; I have friends who have done 90 days, or as many as 180 - to re-centre yourself and explore your emotions, thoughts, and triggers. But as recovery moves forward, I would argue healthy sex is actually an important part of the process. When I am pursuing sex as an addiction, it is unhealthy: it is about objectifying fantasy, not mutual intimacy; it is about consumption, not creation; it looks in, at what I want, instead of what we can share together, as equals.

Healthy sex is about desire and exploration, but it is a shared exploration of pleasure and love. For a recovering sex addict, sex transforms from something entirely focused on the self, to something focused on healthy, mutual pleasure.

Does that make sense?

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Thank you very much for taking the time to reply such an informative messages. It answered my questions so very well. Im glad you didnt find my question offending or anything like that. I just got courious and wanted to know more, since i dont have any knowledge in this matter. I was just wondering, since alcohol isnt a part of recovering alcohol addiction, i was wondering how it was with sexaddiction, meaning that i wouldnt be able to live without :see_no_evil::joy:.

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Hi Dally. Welcome to the fold.

You are welcome to search my profile and find a number of examples of my story, I’ve never been shy about it.

Congrats on 9 months, working to become a better you is a painstakingly long process and you got a nice early jump. Keep trudging forward, the best is yet to come.

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No, it’s a good question, and very common for recovering sex addicts. It’s one of the things that’s unique about this particular addiction. Thanks for asking! I’m always happy to share :innocent:

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Hello I’m Darby. I’m currently struggling with percocet addiction. I have an 19mo boy and I hate him seeing me like this. I know it’s hard, not the recovery process. PARENTING. Being a MOM is hard work!!! But you picked yourself up! I need courage like you.

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Thank you :heart:

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Hi Dally i will sit by the computer writing my contribution to this good thread. I’ll be back, since it will take forever on my phone :see_no_evil:. Welcome to this loving, supportive and amazing community- helped me loads, so far. Well done on your 9 months cleaning!! And strong of you ending the family story of addiction- stay strong :heart:

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Thanks for sharing your story! I wish you all the best! :black_heart:

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Thank you so much! I wish you all the best :black_heart:

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If you need to talk or anything, I’m here. Percocet was my favorite. You can do this, I know you can. Yes! Parenting is hard and stressful lol.

Thanks! I wish you the best in recovery. My story is around here… somewhere

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Welcome @Dally123! Thankful for your story and that you’ve found us to support your recovery! You’re doing the best thing you could ever do for yourself and your fellow wo/man. Keep showing up, no matter what.