In February I finish my recovery program after 7 years using drugs. I got an house with my boyfriend and him is also an addicted. Him relapse yesterday at 3 am. I’m so sad for him… How can I help him? He’s the best person I ever know
Unfortunately you know that you can’t. If you have spent time in recovery then you know that we can only help ourselves.
And at the moment he is probably feeling so much guilt and remorse you approaching him is going make him feel worse.
1 Like
Yes, I know I can’t help him. But I feel like he hasn’t respected me. He also did a program, but he used it while he was there. When we got together I was still in the program, he was clean. The last one was in May, I thought it was only once. Now he looks like another person. I wish I can do something for my big love
I understand how you must feel. And I can’t really justify any right way for you to behave as I have not experienced this myself.
I think deep down you know what you need to do.
Obviously you are probably dealing with betrayal, with what you are saying.
I feel betrayed because he knows how much I am still struggling to keep my self clean in February 2020 it will be 3 years that I am sober and he does not understand that this hurts me. I thought about leaving but so I’m just afraid of making things worse. I really do love him
Is say you can’t make anything worse. The guys still using whether you there or not.
But as I said I don’t think I’m qualified to help apart from just saying what I see.
One thing I did have to do this year was change my outlook on my 28 year marriage. I found that I was co-dependent on my wife. And this affected me. I had to learn to distance myself from those feelings. They were all part and parcel of why I drank. Resentments, anger. All had to go.
But then if you are 3 years in recovery then you would know what I’m talking about.
All this is covered in recovery programs im sure.
You know you can’t do a lot for him, and you could end up back there if you say you’re still struggling
1 Like
Unfortunately, sometimes the best thing we can do is distance ourselves. Like @anon12657779 said, you can’t fight his battle or take responsibility for his recovery. He’s an addict, he can’t see what he’s doing to others. It’s not intentional or spiteful, it’s survival. He has to change what he’s trying to survive (active addiction or recovery) on his own. It fucking sucks! But, you have to give him space to make that decision for himself, and you need to protect yourself.
My heart goes out to you!
1 Like
Thank you. In December we have an appointment with the doctor Galimberti for him. I pray it takes the wanted results
Hi I’m getting how u feel me and my partner r both addicts… we both got clean at same time he then relapse and I was so worried how to deal and help him … I had to stand back and love him from a distance 4 quite some time… then I relapse with him … not his fault it was me who took the drugs … we both in recovery thank god but we both do recovery separately and can’t live together again full time it’s important to me that I do my own recovery and not keep worrying about what he’s doing all the time… maybe it’s not the right thing 4 u at moment to live together. We need to protect our sobriety at all times no matter how much we love them. X
3 Likes