I had a big long bio written of my alcoholic parents and being surrounded by alcoholics my whole life. It wasn’t a poor me write up by any means, just background. But then I realized that regardless of all that, I have to focus on my situation now and how im going to change it.
I’ve, for a while now, been fighting labelling myself an “alcoholic” yet known I was. I would “take a break” from alcohol and get to 2 weeks a say to myself, you don’t have a problem or you wouldn’t have been able to make it even two weeks then start drinking again.
This summer it has become glaringly obvious that I do have a problem. I’ve had a lot of vacation time ( 5 weeks of throughout the summer) and there hasn’t been a single day of my vacation I haven’t been drinking. And not just a glass of wine or two like I used to, it’s been full bottles of wine, or 5 or 6 beer or coolers daily. I haven’t been falling down drunk and I’ve used that as an excuse to not admit the reality. I am a alcoholic.
All my adult life I have watched the amount of alcohol I consume because I have had, all my life, all different degrees of alcoholism surrounding me. But i can feel it getting out of control. I can feel myself wanting a drink at 9 in the morning and having to talk myself out of it. I talk myself out of and back into having “Just one more”.
I need to get control before this gets to a level where I can’t talk myself out of a drink.
So today is day 1 of admitting it to someone other than myself and day one of not drinking.
10 Likes
Really glad you’re here! Your story resonates a lot with me. I recognize many of those themes.
I did this too! Until I stopped listening to myself and started giving in 
I suppose it’s true what they say: that alcoholism is a progressive disease. Good to get sober as soon as possible.
1 Like