I’m not perfect, I get mad. The solution used to be simple. I’d swallow that anger and I’d use until I didn’t care anymore.
It’s not that simple these days and I’m having problems dealing with my son, who is three and a half. My patience is worn paper thin and time-outs don’t seem to work at all. Do I really have to go through processing resentments for a three year old over potty training and tantrums?
I’d like to focus more on preventing my snaps than dealing with them after the fact. Besides, I don’t want him to fear me or my wrath for stepping out of line. I want him to be encouraged to do better. I’m just not sure how to communicate with him when he’s refusing to listen or digging in his heels.
Is it normal for a kid to push until I lose my shit? I suppose I’m a bit torn between, “you can’t control others” and “my kid would/should never behave like that.”
Anyone familiar with books pertaining to anger management/parenting that they would recommend?
Also, if your kids aren’t driving you crazy, then something is wrong. Kids are meant to be crazy, creative, energetic. Learning to discipline ourselves is what we need to learn, not the other way around. It’s not the child’s problem, but ours.
I totally get that. I have had to lock out my Instagram account a few times, to protect myself. It’s not the worst social media platform and they do a good job blocking the extreme stuff, but some slips through. It also tends to be a gateway into using for me.
Does the little guy get enough exercise outside? I am a firm believer in wearing little ones out as much as possible.
Kids can be incredibly frustrating, that is for sure. I have found positive parenting techniques to be helpful for me when relating with my 4 year old grandson.
Most days, yes, I think he does. I try to engage him. Now it’s like that he’s in this phase where he’ll argue just for the sake of arguing. I’m sure it’s a button he’s learned he can push with me and that’s probably the most frustrating part. And I know he’s in the phase where finding boundaries is the name of the game.
You’re not alone! My son use to be the same. Would argue when there is nothing to argue about! He’s stubborn and doesn’t give in easily. It doesn’t help that we have similar personalities. He’s now 7 1/2 and for me he calmed once he’d started full time school. The boy has so much energy and I couldn’t keep up with him. I had many guilty Mummy moments when I wouldn’t look forward to collecting him from pre-school in case he was in a bad mood and then generally I would be counting the hours for him to go to bed. I know it doesn’t help now but it does and will get better.
There’s a term called Putting Behaviors on Extinction. It means that if a child is doing something you dont want or like, you ignore it. It will get worse initially, but once the child realizes that they’re not going to get what they want, they will be forced to change their tactics.
When they have a behavior you desire, you praise them for it. Positive reinforcement.
Again, all this is easy to say, difficult to practice.
No, I didn’t get sober just to be pissed off either. But I certainly feel like a walking, talking case of IBS some days. Today started with an argument over breakfast foods about 10 minutes after I woke up. That woke my wife up, so she arose like sleeping beauty after being kissed
Granted, I’m about as pleasant as a rattle snake before I’ve had coffee. But I’m working on not being that way.
Thanks Tia! I feel the same way. He’s definitely stubborn like me, and he is argumentative like me. The reckoning has begun!
It probably explains why my parents encouraged me to play in traffic more often.
Is this your only child? If so then I know it’s hard to want to spank, but do it. Spank that little behind, don’t hurt him obviously. But there has to more than just using your words. Trust me, it works. I have a 4 y.o. daughter, 5 y.o. son. Trust, it works. And I know many people may disagree. But let me tell you, they listen now.
People always laugh when I say this, but Super Nanny’s techniques have always worked amazing for me. Look up super nanny on YouTube, there is lots of short videos. She had a book too. We followed her time out method and I haven’t had to go past a warning since.
I think with discipline consistency is key. Whatever you choose to do, be consistent and the same everytime.
Hey I know how hard it is I have a son with autism who’s 4 and it does get very stressful at times especially as I live in an apartment he goes up and down the stairs and lift all day been looking for a house with a garden for him the past 2 years so hopefully this year I will!!!
