Tired of hating myself

Hi, new here. I need to do something different. I’m so tired of the merry-go-round of addiction, shame, and self-hatred. I have so much I want to accomplish with my life and I keep throwing a wrench in any forward progress by using. Now my relapses are only usually a few days but then it’s another few days to fully clear my head and get back on track. I am tired of it, but god dammit I’ve been tired of it for a long time and I keep fucking up anyway. I don’t want to do it again.

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Welcome Alexandra. Glad ur here! I remember that feeling of the merry-go-around all too well. A HUGE thing that helped me get off that miserable ride was this forum to be honest. Baving this supppory was huge bcuz i knew i couldnt do it alone. I literally couldn’t get past 3 days clean for the longest time and once i started to take the suggestions from others on here and started coming on here FIRST before i picked up, others were able to help me get past that 3 day mark. And now i have 402 days clean. Focus on staying sober for the 24 hours ahead. And then do it again tmrw. The days will add up for u :slight_smile:

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Good for you for being fed up with it! You deserve so much more in this life. I’ve been with this community for a long time. It’s a great resource for you. Glad you joined!

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Welcome!! Yes, this cycle is so debilitating and just keeps spinning round and round until we stop it. All that hating of our selves does nothing to help us heal and get sober…it just keeps us down and hopeless.
I remember it very well.

Glad you are here and looking for new ways. One is to start believing in yourself and your ability to stop this cycle. And especially to start learning that you are not your fuck ups or incapable of sobriety. You are stronger than you know and worthy of self love and healing.

Spend some time reading around here and you will find a lot of common threads and people with similar story’s…you will also find advice on moving forward and out of the shame and guilt cycle holding you down. :heart::people_hugging:

Keep your focus on the day at hand and don’t drink today. We can focus on tomorrow when we wake up.

:heart:

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Welcome Alexandra! Glad you found us. Now you don’t have to do this alone.

I remember that merry-go-round all too well. I finally got off when I hit that point where I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. Finding the willingness to put the hard work in was difficult for me but once I started IOP, I got the momentum going I needed and now a day doesn’t go by where I don’t do something to enhance my recovery. I have to put more time and effort into my recovery than I did into drinking and drugging, but it’s well worth it.

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Hello and welcome. Look over the many threads and catch up on some reading. The advice and sharing here can and will speak to you.

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Maybe try a meeting might help wish you well

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Welcome to the community! Coming here is a great first step.

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When you are truly sick and tired of your own shit, when the pain of staying the same is worse than the pain of change, that is the starting point. :purple_heart:

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Welcome to the club! There is light at the end of the tunnel. In the beginning, there is a huge hump to get over, and then many bumps along the way, but you’ll be so much happier. I wish you happiness and peace!

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How are you doing today @Sobersilver?

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Hi thanks for checking in. I’m doing okay, lots of ups and downs.

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