To those feeling left out or not fitting in - you are one of us, part of this community!

We all know that feeling.
Being at a party, watching the dynamics going on, noticing people grouping together. And then there’s us, alone. Not really belonging to any of those groups so we’re left out. Maybe there is someone else like is and we can form our own group, being alone together, even though that usually feels only more alone…

We all know, or have known that feeling.

And we are all aware that some of you feel that same way on here. I am so sorry to know you, the one reading this, may be feeling like that. Cause believe me, you are wrong !
You are nót alone, nót excluded, not an outsider observing cliques or groups without being part of it !

After an extended discussion about this (see link below) I would like to summarise it for you.

Yes, to an extent you could say people are grouping together. That is not to exclude others, but simply a process of group dynamics of many people learning to fit in. It starts with the simple fact that people look for similarities. Those with similar addicition, similar sober time, similar hobbies, etcetera etcetera, start clicking with each other.
Again, that is not to exclude others, but actually including them into their own experience.
Reach out, and you will be welcomed !

Some of you feel discouraged or ignored when posting and getting only a few replies and a handful of likes, while others seem to get flooded with hearts, replies, empathy and love.
Yes, that can be painful. But don’t interpretate this as no one caring for that is definately nót the case !
But this community has grown that big, that most of us follow only a handful of topics and simply don’t have time to respond, or feel they have no advice to offer.
Again, none of this means you are not included here !
Some of us will always try to respond to you, even if it means we have nothing useful to say or advice. Sometimes all we can do is give you a simple welcome or a short reply just to show we care about you.

Please, never feel excluded or not fitting in, not belonging !
That very feeling actually is proof you dó belong here for it is not the way this community is, it’s the way our addicted minds have been conditioned.
We have felt left out and not fitting in for a huge part of our lives, so of course we have that same feeling or same fear over here !

Be assured, we all have felt that way and I want you to know, you are all included and welcome on here. Even when things get rough, even when you get angry and get verbally agressive, you will always be welcome, even if a post gets closed.

We are all humans, so sometimes we may react wrong but hey, that’s what being human is about. Making mistakes, learning from them and move on - it’s what we are learning here.
It’s what yóu can learn here.

Once more : never feel left out or not fitting in. Reach out, and we will grab your hand in an attempt to make you feel more welcome.
Reach out, open up and you’ll be amazed how many others share your feelings, pains and emotions.

We are all welcome.
Reach out when needed. And if you don’t want to do so in the public sections, find someone you feel good about and direct message / PM them.
Please do, for we all want you to feel welcome and part of our family.
For that is what this community can be : a family. And you are part of it when you want to be.


(Cliques ? Open debate, polite please)


Mmmm Lilo & Stitch is a great film :innocent:

“This is my family. It is little, and broken. But still good. Still good.”


Oh man, I will never forget how connected I felt to Stitch… :slight_smile:


For me it was Lilo. Earnest, sincerely trying, hitting walls so often. Like “oh what? Oh it’s actually this? What’s happening?” :joy: And her heart: yearning to connect :innocent:


That doesn’t surprise me, for it is who and what I see of you here :+1:
I’ve always been more like Stitch though - confused at a world that just isn’t his :joy:

But slowly I’m becoming a Stitch with Lilo traits I guess :slight_smile:

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Thanks for this @Fargesia_murielae :sunflower::sunny::pray:


Hope it helps you feel more part of this community Franzi :slight_smile:

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Great post @Fargesia_murielae! Thank you for extending a hand to everyone on behalf of the forum.
I just want to say to anyone that doesn’t feel comfortable reaching out on the main forum, my inbox is always open. Feel free to PM me anytime.


Stitch is my spirit animal… Thank you for this post it hit the spot!


Looks like some of the turmoil here, lately shook you to the core as well and opened up new vessels.
Do not know lilo and stich… :wink: but you nailed it.
No one is free until we are all free.
thank you!
:pray: :heart:


This turmoil happens every now and then. Even that is just normal, to be expected within any community.
Action and reaction…

Mahayana Buddhism in a nutshell :+1:

Go watch it ! :slight_smile:

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This one here seems true to me. When I feel calm and in inner peace I don’t seek for clap clap, thumbs up from others. I know that I am who I am. Rare moments but they become more frequent. :sunflower: And then I don’t feel separated from a community whichever that might be.


Great post @Fargesia_murielae Thanks for making it.

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Without you, there is no us, without us, it’s only me, and I’m not strong enough to carry on alone, therefore I need you.


Thank you for the post, it almost made me cry. I spent most of my life feeling left out or not belonging to a group. I tend to be kind of an introvert and take a long time warming up to people, let alone a whole forum :sweat_smile:
I still feel very welcome here. Even though I didn’t share much, I received the warmest and loveliest responses from strangers all around the globe. I read tons of helpful comments you write for every newcomer, even if you have to repeat yourselves a 100 times. Where there’s so many different addicts, there will be divers views, everyone has bad days … I get that. Overall, my 93 (?) days around here have been a really good experience and helped me to stay sober, one day at a time. Being on an app like this is like a lifeline in my pocket. So thank you all for going out of your way, trying to help each other :heart:


Oh. that is a nice song. Shamed to say I never heard it. Made a little dance on it. to start the day of! :wink: Have a good sunday Matt!

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Well said!

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