Well today is my Friday and if I make till around 11:30pm I’ll have 7 days. Currently on lunch break at work and thinking about how all I want to do is go straight to bed when I get home, so I don’t get any dumb ideas in my head. This day last week I was on one of my usual binges. Blacking out being functional as ever on social media but of course not remembering anything until I looked at my phone the next morning. I’m a high functioning blackout drinker. Most of the time my friends didn’t even know I was in a blackout because I was having conversations with them. My husband won’t be home from work until tomorrow morning which is usually my reason to get drunk. Too much time alone. Hoping to get through today because it is my usual day to hit the bottle. I hate how obsessed my mind is.
You sound like how I have been at times when I drank. I am sometimes in complete shock at what I was able to do in a blackout. Sometimes it was completely normal and other times…probably really close to killing myself or someone else. Makes me sick!!
I think going to bed early is a fantastic idea! If that’s what it takes to keep you from drinking tonight. Isn’t it amazing the difference in how you feel about a drink at night versus how you feel when you wake up in the morning sober? Get some wonderful alcohol free sleep and be proud of yourself tomorrow when you’ve gone another day!
Isn’t it crazy how much one can do blacked out?! It’s scary and yet it’s easy to forget those awful mornings after a blackout, when my brain wants to say "oh you’re not that bad."
Luckily I have a sink full of dishes waiting for me to wash when I get home. Maybe I’ll head to the gym to wear myself out for a night’s rest. Thank you for the response @Lettinggo
@Leelee77 you’re my sister in sobriety…you’ll make it to 11:30 and beyond. Stay strong and be proud
Thank you thank you thank you! Staying strong. Finally home from work and just ate. I’m pooped! Sobriety sister of mine, I’m grateful for you @Melrm
I’m grateful for you too @Leelee77
That is one thing (among many) that I absolutely love. Once I’m asleep, I don’t wake up. I sleep deeply and man it’s hard to get up in the morning! I used to love sleep and drinking definitely jacked up my sleeping patterns.
@Leelee77 thank you for posting. Its good to know others experienced the driving home, having conversations, posting on social media, all in a black out. Its kind of crazy what we were able to do while black out drunk. Reminds me why I’m doing this.
Keep posting. You’re doing great. We are all here for the same thing. So we are all in this together.
@Elisabeth it’s so easy to forget the horrific things I did blacked out when I find myself missing that drink. Denial would set in very quick whenever I found myself driving to the corner liquor store. I made it another sober day so for that I’m grateful! And grateful for getting to talk to you all here. Happy Sunday!
Thank you! I hope you are enjoying this Sunday! Here’s to getting through today together and sober!