Master 2 was a little monster today, and 2 triggers added some drama. I was over it and went onto the delivery site for alcohol, you know to just “browse” make sure I’m not missing out on anything.
My mental state went bonkers for a few hours and I snapped at everything, but I didn’t cave, I even thought have a drink and don’t tell anyone, but I would know! I would see the damage! I would feel the guilt.
So I purchased some non alcoholic drinks, one is a non alc spirit and then a case of mineral water (cheaper than buying one at a time at the shops).
I’m feeling better now but I’ve got to find ways to handle myself better when master 2 is having a tantrum (he wanted to use a knife and I moved it away for safety reasons).
Test will keep coming especially with children. I understand that completely. Lol. Good job on not giving in! I have no opinion about the NA drinks for others. Personally I think they might tease me and lead me to drink so I stay away. But much a much better choice either way.
Honesty is what has gotten me to 5 months sober yesterday and has kept me sober today. I am proud that you shared how the shame or guilt would hurt you more if you would have lied. It would eat me up as well. (It did in my past). Keep it going! Stay strong and sober!
I get how you feel I have 3 kids all testing me all day they are 9,7,and 3. I have those moments like one couldn’t hurt and not tell anyone but I would be so disappointed in myself. I’m glad you stayed strong and stayed sober
