Today's life plan

Whatever tf I want to do minus being :poop:ty to other’s, drinking, drugs and self harm… :coffee::older_woman::100:

I’m the ONLY hold up there… :blush:

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get it ked
parden my slang

sobriety isnt just about quitting substantses
its also about changing ourselves for the best.

maybe go even further and help a family member, friend or even a pet personaly?
i need to think of this myself… there is just too much i need to work on

i also need to practice safe boundries
i tend to be a push over

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Tomorrow I’m adding more to this than just sleep…:neutral_face:

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Me too and that’s usually when I make poor choices… Sometimes it’s draining and I just feel like I need rest… I gather my thoughts then try to add new things to my plan to help me out later while looking at where I might still be lacking… :blush:

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Some of my resting thoughts yesterday… For the first dozen years of my career I would try to act kind but bold then I’d make a run for the ladies room and would cry and beat myself up for firing people (that was part of my job)… One day when I was pregnant I had to fire a young lady who had a new baby… She had missed work 3 times in 90 day’s and was pregnant again… It didn’t matter the reason, if you had a Drs excuse etc. It was policy… I had to be the enforcer so our patients didn’t suffer from myself staying up all night trying to find replacments if I couldn’t pulling her weight plus mine (4 in total because we were both pregnant :pregnant_woman:+ :pregnant_woman: =4… :joy:)… I had already asked my boss for an exception… He gave me the choice and said he was with whatever I decided… Well folks I had to choose my patients… No sooner than she made it out the door after I fired her, I couldn’t hold back my tears I had been a teen mom before too in my past… My boss picked up her self termination agreement and asked me if I signed one too when I was hired… I said yes… He said then you have NEVER fired anyone for these reasons or any other… People fire themselves… That was a game changer for me from there forward on that… I was able to focus on the work that I had let slide to try to save another when I couldn’t… It benefited no-one for me to sit at my desk on repeat and dwell on what I that I already knew and had went above and beyond to change and I couldn’t… From there I was able to focus on the priority… I was able to get done the work of two that day then went home had dinner a warm bath and carry on right on schedule the next morning because I didn’t stay up all night crying about what I was unable to change… Sometimes I just forget… But it’s good to remember… :neutral_face:

My boss was a struggling alcoholic as well… :angel: I just didn’t know I was one at the time… I feel like that he may known I was in for some big trouble later on if I didn’t hear that and remember that one day… It’s just how I feel… :100::100::100:

Since my current environment happens to be my home… I have a choice… I don’t feel like I have to fire anyone… I’m gonna be kind, choose love and continue to do my part in knowing I can only improve me and not let it drag me down that others can’t fix themselves… :100: I have faith they still will… :point_up::blush:

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Indeed, I see the recovery process as a lifestyle change.
From unproductive, sad one, to a happy, productive one :slightly_smiling_face::raised_hands::fist::ok_hand:

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Thank you SO much!!! I’m feeling a lot more like myself other than how I feel other’s see me… I’m tired of addiction controlling me… :blush: When I posted that post yesterday morning I definitely needed to rest… I’m not proud of my choice of attitude that I chose up there but I’m keeping it so I know next time to try to avoid feeling and reacting that way again… :100:

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Personal identification change is important too, yes.
It’s counterproductive to partake recovery, while still identifying yourself as an addicted, unproductive and all around a bad person.

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Addiction started in the mind and I believe, that it can end by mind too :slightly_smiling_face:

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Agree :100:% a lot of things are my perception… Sometimes that has to change or even change back to what is beneficial… :blush:

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And the best part about recovery, is that we learn new, beneficial things a long the way :slightly_smiling_face:

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I told my husband right after I was for certain that I was an alcoholic (a couple weeks ago) that I plan to break every bad habit that I have one day at a time… All of them… It’s taking me much work but I know I can do it… :blush:

My plan is to rehab MY brain the same way that we used to rehab any other bone or organ that was diseased/injured where I once spent a lot of time in a skilled nursing and rehabilitation center for more than 20 years (primarily we cared for the elderly)… My primary roll was the Nutrition dept… I’m retired from that line of work but I’m keeping the knowledge I developed along the way… I now work by choice in doing patient care for my mother who has MS that is a retired CNA that I had the honor to work along with for many year’s… Three times less pay and a thousand times the reward… :sparkling_heart: I would do it free if I had the gas money because I was doing that before taking the job… I plan to rehab myself by putting down what’s causing the issues where related (done that 679 days ago I quit Meth) ongoing with other bad habits as I identify them (doing that 39 days ago I quit alcohol and I have more bad habits to break along the way etc)… I plan to seek medical treatment from a licensed healthcare provider when needed (done that but not where I work, ongoing as needed)… I plan to talk to someone of MY choice when needed (doing that, ongoing as needed) and I plan on practicing building stronger by identifying what brings me joy to my life (ongoing always and forever) when needed until I feel like my mind is healed… I’m gonna eat well all I can, sleep well all I can, try to be kind to other’s, apologize where I should and improve where I should (ongoing as everyone should)… Then I’m gonna proceed with knowledge and precaution while maintaining a healthy, happy, normal life (even though I was broken early on and not sure exactly what that yet all entails)… I can still rehab myself to catch up to or back to the world where I’m lacking… :point_up::blush:

~Most importantly, I’m never gonna forget that I’m somebody’s patient too~ :100:

But wait there’s more… :joy::100:

I’m keeping myself a running log of all of this on this app for educational purposes for myself so I’m listing my thoughts here…

More resting thoughts yesterday… :neutral_face:

I once took a road trip with my husband to Wisconsin… That’s a very long way from where we live… It was a weekend trip and I had off that Monday… We were going after a log truck that my husband found a great deal on online for his business… Our oldest son was only a baby at the time and our daughter was about 11, my mother was babysitting for the weekend… We had both worked all week long and set out on this trip Friday right after work… Well we drove for hour’s… He had to rest… I had a small nap… He asked me if he wrote the directions on my hand (just one right turn in about an hour with the exit #, then drive to the town he wrote and wake him up in about 3 hours drive time) if I could do it??? I said sure I can… :grin: Well I thought I could… :neutral_face: I got onto the intersection and drove for a good 5 hours in the wrong direction looking for that sign on the right that I should have seen 4 hours before because I was exhausted and was on prescribed psychoactive medications that just said use care when driving… Young me thought I could do that… All I had to do was say I’m really tired let’s get a room or wake him up and say I’m lost… I’m learning that I do that a lot even being old me but this past 679 day’s I’m learning to say no with very good reason… It caught up to me once… :100: