There are soo many types of addictions out there. Most people think of drugs and alcohol when it comes to addictions but apparently there is a love addiction. That is what I keep finding when I google toxic relationship addiction. Like you know your in a bad relationship but no matter how bad it gets and how much you don’t want to be in it you stay anyway. It was brought to my attention that the feelings are like that of being addicted to a drug or anything else. It is very hard to break this form of addiction bc so many other things have played an aspect in it. For me giving up alcohol has been much easier than trying to give up a toxic relationship. I wish there were more support groups out there for people addicted to these toxic relationships.
Is there anyone on here who also recognizes they are in a toxic relationship they they just can’t find their way out of ???
Oh wow!!! You hit the nail right on the head! Also speaking my current life situation. I know deep deep down, that I need to stay away from this individual. However, I go back on my own word, and can’t seem to keep him out of my life. It’s tough . It defeats me more than my actual DoC. I keep trying to find any kind of resource to show myself; I’m not the only one!!! Thank u for this post. I am anxious to see what others have to say…
Could you relate with being codependent? It includes essentially being addicted to the defects of another person… There are groups and books that help with that. Codependent No More is great book.
You know, I used to doubt addiction to anything but substances, until I realized that I was a porn addict. I think that dealing with my alcoholism helped me recognize that the symptoms were so similar - frequent use, can’t control my use, binging, negative impacts on my ability to function.
Now I pretty much believe that just about anything can be addictive.
It’s amazing the stuff your mind and body can adapt to when you don’t realize it. It’s like those people on TV with the strange addictions and you wonder how the heck could that be possible!?! But I guess anything can happen lol
I don’t really know much about codependency… 
I guess that’s something I will have to look into… thanks for the information
Yeah I was talking to a friend and they brought it to my attention and I was wondering if anyone else there felt like that !! It’s just crazy what we put ourselves through and even though we know it’s bad and not healthy there we are being sucked back in time and time again. @kjm mentioned something about codependency. I’m not really familiar with that so I will have to look into it. Do you know much about it?
I have this same problem going on in my life. I am having a harder time getting out of a relationship where I’m constantly lied to than I have in staying sober.
It’s easier to stay than it is to leave. Especially when their is physical or emotional abuse. There’s a little voice in the back of our heads saying we deserve that type of relationship and that no one else but that person will ever understand us or love us. A lot of times you can’t see clearly when you’re in the depths of it all.
This is a perfect thread for me right now. When I first got this app a week ago, I actually added an “addiction” which is the initials of the person I have been seeing and feeling addicted to, despite all the reasons to run/walk away. For the text of the “addiction” which shows on the screen I put “Do not call or text XYZ”. So the reminder is right there! I have to agree with a previous post, that I think quitting the person is harder for me than quitting alcohol. It certainly makes me angry and I have some obsessive thoughts about it. I am personally going to Alanon for support (as this is codependency or addiction to a person) and I am going to AA for the alcohol!
I am not a total mess, just want to rid myself of both addictions!! Thanks for the post and the opportunity to converse on this.
All my relationships were toxic for a while. I went to SLAA which helped enormously x
I used to joke about not knowing if I was more addicted to the dope or the person … it’s not so funny anymore cause I am obsessed, unhealthily attached, addicted, to a man. Add dope on top… I feel hopeless a lot
Wow! Until I read this post I thought I was alone. I’m so miserable in my current relationship but find every excuse to stay. Today Marks 200 days sober and I’m so proud if myself yet feel burdened with this relationship.
I have a terrible track record in my long term relationships, only being in 4 since the age of 17, I’m now 37. All of the men I’ve been with have smoked weed, most took other drugs too, I’ve been cheated on in two relationships, been beaten black and blue in one and all but one relationship the guys didn’t want to work, including my husband now, I thought when I met my husband I actually got it right this time, he didn’t take drugs even though he had in the past he was clean when we met, he had a really good job and his own place, well that all changed after about 3 yrs together and married he started smoking weed again. Half the time I feel like I have MUG written on my forehead
I have to constantly be wary of getting addicted to relationships - I mean in the larger sense of the word. I fight hard to seek out friendships or ways to be around people. I eat up every scrap of appreciation and feeling valued, like a dog under the dinner table, and I go after this so much I don’t say no to the toxic relationships. If I go too long without feeling wanted, a switch flips and I feel utterly abandoned and wronged by one person or another and sometimes push them away.
I have since been able to control this pattern (so far) after realizing the issue, and I just came out of a long painful period of cutting off the toxic relationships. But not a whole lot of time has passed, and I need to keep an eye on it. If it keeps coming back and tying myself to toxic relationships, I will have to consider whether it is starting to fit criteria for addiction, or if it is something I can just keep avoiding on my own.
I’ve never considered going to a group for it because they seem to be focused on romantic and/or sexual relationship addiction, whereas for me it’s friends who fit certain personality profiles. It’s also pretty likely it’s a feature of my borderline personality disorder, which I’m having treated.
There’s a group on here that just started reading and discussing Codependent no more. DEFINITELY worth joining.
You should get the book Codependent No More and join the group on here.
I’ve been lurking. I want to get the book and read… haven’t yet. Honestly I think I’m just dragging my feet on it, and am not sure how to stop. I keep thinking “I have too much on my plate” and then finding free time wishing I had decided to get it weeks ago…
I really like this topic, due to my addictive personality I am prone to get involved in relationships or be attracted to partners very easily. I thought it was bc I’m ready for a relationship now, since I sobered up 6 months ago and I’ve been separated from my ex-wife for over 5 years now, but after reading this thread I better re-think things. I don’t necessarily get involved in Toxic relationships, but I am attracted to someone that is just getting out of one. My sponsor says I should wait for a year before I get involved with someone. I think that’s good advice, even though it seems like a long ways away.
It’s a relatively short book, easy to read, engaging so you’ll blow through it pretty fast on the first pass, I am almost certain of it. If it’s what you feel you can really use, you can pick up the workbook and hunker down into that. I am going the read first and workbook on the second pass route so I can get a proper frame of mind rather than being skeptical and uncommitted trying to do both at the same time, there by never actually finishing either lol