I am 4 months and 2 days clean from the massive amount of painkillers I was taking. I quit shortly after the woman I loved more than anything left me and now am having trouble with alcohol. Not an easy thing to admit and I have been lying to myself about it for some time. I work nights and spend 99% of my time alone, so I started going to bars to ‘be social’ on my days off but it has turned into something of a monster that I am having trouble controlling. I get drunk most nights before going to sleep (passing out) and have even started having a few before work. I know this is not a good cycle and will surely end badly, but I really can’t seem to stop.
Has anyone here quit something else and broke the golden rule of not ‘replacing one addiction for another’ and how did you break the cycle and get away from all of it?
Thank you in advance and even if no one responds I really felt I needed to put this down in black and white.
-T
yes I have. currently. I haven’t touched drugs for almost 2 years now but I have found over those 2 years I have replaced it with alcohol. I am currently at rock bottom bc of alcohol and am on day 2 sober. its not easy to realize u kicked one thing only to be in the same boat with something diff. its awful, I felt like I failed all over again, and I did miserably. this disease we have cannot be contained so I have realize that I am not the type to have anything that alters me. I guess were not wired that way. but I have found that it comforting to read and talk it out with other people in the same boat. I’m a newbie to getting sober again so if you want to vent, I can understand going from pills to alcohol, just like u.
I was fiercely physically addicted to dramamine for about a year before I switched to a fierce psychological dependence on alcohol to manage my anxiety symptoms. In both cases I knew I was an addict because I would use/drink, wake up to destructive consequences, and keep using/drinking anyway. Like, I would drink to feel better, wake up suicidally depressed instead, and be like “well this feels f*cking terrible. Let’s do it again tonight.”
This is probably not the answer you wanna hear, and I hope it never becomes applicable to you, but I had to wait to hit a bottom. I almost lost my job and said/did some horrible things to my friends and family, and the consequences of my drinking unambiguously outweighed whatever benefits I thought I was getting. That was what it took. Unlike me though, you have the gift of insight on your own behaviours and I hope this helps you avoid situations where you are likely to drink.
Could you make it harder to drink? Throw out the booze in your house before you talk yourself back into denial, make commitments on your days off so you won’t have time to go to bars?
Thank you for taking the time to reply. I think the big issue for me is that after almost 10 years as an addict, I am used to having something to alter my state of mind. I wish you the best of luck on getting sober. This is day 1 for me, but not the first time I have tried to let it go. Thank you for the offer and I will for sure message you if I need to. Feel free to do the same.
Unfortunately it is applicable to me. I’ve woken up on a work day thinking that I would ‘just have a few’ and next thing you know I am going to work blackout drunk. I have had ugly situations where I have blacked out and physically fought long time friends (highly out of character for me as I am a pretty passive person) I currently have no alcohol in the house and am going to keep it that way. I am going to try to set up healthier things to do on my days off so that I am too busy and not tempted to drink. Thank you for the advice and the best of luck to you in your own recovery.
I used and drank for 14 years… I was always a substituter. Id put one thing down and pick up another, over and over again. Until i got tired of being tired. I was mentally and physically drained and wanted something different, so i changed. Or so i thought… I put the drugs down then picked up the alcohol. I too had never been without something. So i was scared… I drank for another 3 years. Then that ended the same, left me feeling empty to the core. So today, i have 3 years off drugs, and 11 months off alcohol. So im 11 months sober, technically. It was a big adjustment, but i started to treat alcohol like i did drugs. It all took me to the same place. Is one really worse than the other when it comes down to it? I would catagorize my drugs, like alcohol isnt as bad as heroin. And weeds not as bad as pills, so its ok. NOT! No mood or mind altering substances for this girl right here… None! One leads to an infinate number. Its that first one that gets the ball rolling for me… The phenomenon of craving sets in after that first one. So i have to be very careful to not have that first one. Because there was never just one of anything for me… So howd i end up getting 11 months sober right? I dont pick up that first drink or drug. I go to AA meetings and started working the Steps with a sponsor. I built a support group through AA. So i can call someone when the craving does hit. So i learned to use the phone all over again lol. I changed up my routine! Rather than drinking before leaving, id get on this app or hit a meeting. This app helped with me checking in and i do not want to reset my timer either lol. I keep busy! Im horrible about sitting around and getting inside my head and then a bad idea starts to sound good lol. So i distract myself or call someone or text. But i dont let my mind get the best of me anymore… Pick up a hobby or do something you enjoy… Hang with some friends, who dont drink preferably.
Those are some of the things i do… Hope this helps you. I wish you the best. You can do this!
Yah, I️ went form booze to speed and extract to booze to over the counter sleeping pills in dangerous amounts (1/2 to 3/4 packs of Niquil and or neocitron a night to “help me sleep”.
It was a response to unmanaged anxiety and PTSD in my case.
I just became really committed to not unsung any medication or substance.
I do take supplements like 5htp and GABA , Niacin, b supplements, cortirex…super Magnesuim with melatonin and holy basil.
stuff you find at the health food store or in the vitamin isle. I’ve found them to be so helpful on the early stages when anxiety and sleep are a major issue.
Now 11 months later I sleep fine, anxiety is still there but WAY less than when l was drinking ( not even comparable) and I’m able to manage it thanks to some
CBT worksheets.
I worked night for years and it’s so conducive to addition. Our interaction with others is so low in these environment, isolation is something else…and if your not relatively isolated at your job, you probably work in a night club and that’s addiction city so…lol
Just curious, do you really like your job? Sometimes not liking your work can also contribute to feeling a need to escape.
Honestly, I truly do not like my job in the slightest. I’m overnight security and have been doing it far too long. Very few interactions with people and the ones that I do have are never pleasant.
Yah i can totally relate to that. Seriously, I know it’s not an easy transition but try changing jobs. You don’t have to love the new job, it just has to be healthier than what you are doing now and paying the bills while you figure out your next step forward.
You have come too far to turn around start all over again with booze. Try changing your environment.
No. I am actually a pretty friendly person. But as a security guard at a high end place, I am dealing with people who are very full of themselves on their worst days. So drunk that they have to be escorted off property, or after a car accident, or having a loud party that they don’t want to stop having after-hours. Generally speaking, they aren’t especially happy to see me.
I see now. The daily grind must be a living hell for you. Nothing like dealing with irrational, self centered, confrontational, drunks. I was a bartender for a number of years, (similarities). As the other fine folks on here have suggested perhaps a job change might suit you better and enhance your sanity. All the best, Irish.