Triggers - when people close to you stop talking to you with no explanation


I am new to recovery. Day 11.

I have been doing ok. Except someone close to me (a so called good friend) has stopped talking to me with no explanation.

I do not want to overthink it. But it hurts and it is triggering me. I have asked unemotionally for clarification and no response.

Any one experienced the same and how did you cope?



That sounds frustrating. What do you think happened?

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I’m not sure where you live but with the turmoil we are all going trough right now it’s possible this person is just overwhelmed and stepping back from everything. I totally understand at 11 days you’re feeling raw and concerned it’s about you but it may be something very different.

Try to check in with them and make sure they are okay.

If it IS about you then walk away with your head held high. But maybe they are going through something and can use a friend like you to help them out.




No. Just fucking no.

If it IS about you, listen to what they have to say and take it on the chin. Dont just walk away with your head high because that’s the kind of thing that self-righteous addicts do. Chances are you’ve probably messed them about and they’re sick of your shit.

You’re an addict in your first 2 weeks of recovery - Its uncomfortable, its difficult and you’re going to hear some shit about yourself that you dont like. Dont just avoid it; face it.


Very good point…BUT…I was picturing a scenario where someone just didn’t want to hang with a sober person. I didn’t want OP to think that they needed to give up sobriety to keep friends. “Head held high” was meant as a “you’re doing the right thing getting sober now and don’t you ever forget that”.



I gave up on a friend of mine, a good friend, he was like a brother. He was also a meth addict. He had relapsed and tried to pull me into his delusion. I couldn’t have that in my life, so I left him and never talked again. It hurt, and I’m sure it hurt him, but it was for the best, for us both.

Another good friend of 20 years quit talking to me recently. I’d try to engage in text and try to get together, but he always had an excuse. He quit texting me “happy birthday” this year, first time in 20 years.

So I’ve been on both sides of the end of friendships. Maybe it was me, maybe it wasn’t, it doesn’t matter, all I can do is do me.

As sure as time moves on, friends come and friends go.


Thanks for the replies.

I still do not yet know what the issue is and it doesn’t really matter to me anymore. I have to accept the situation exactly as it is.

She had sent a message saying sorry that she would touch base soon.

Maybe my actions are the reason, or maybe it is because of what is going down or maybe a combination of both. I have to stick to facts.

It IS uncomfortable facing myself at the moment and accepting some of the things I have done. I did i guess depend alot on her.

But I have to do this for myself and relinquish control.


Yeah sometimes it just takes some reflection to see things clearly. That’s basically why I asked what you think happened. Sometimes it’s hard to see when you’re so close to it. Like Dan said, sometimes it’s you, sometimes it’s them, sometimes it’s both. Either way I hope you can reflect, learn, and get closure in your own way.


Thanks. I guess I have to be ok with maybe not getting closer. It is what it is.

I do know though for me going forward if I faced the same situation and I was been asked for clarification with no obvious fallout or argument. I would not ghost a person, especially a so called close friend. I would give an answer, in a honest and unemotional way and then move on. To help myself, as much as the other person.

Most people and especially addicts when we get clean want to improve and have to face the truth.

That’s high value to me and how I want to live my life.


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Rock and roll man

Sobriety is a big decison. What the drug of choice is, attitude toward life, healthy choices, healthy everything. Im sure she just needed a breather. Everyone is unique ya know. Sometimes people can exost themselves.

Let alone this whole viris stuff


Yep. I’m just going to chill. Self centered thinking to assume it’s all about me right.

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Congratulations :tada: I had relapsed yesterday and yes anything or someone can trigger instant. I try to stay away because I know myself I’m very sensitive. Just try stay positive and sober

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Thanks. Sorry to hear about your relapse. If you need support I’m here. I’m sensitive too. But I know I got to learn to harness this. Avoidance can be good though.

I’m 2 weeks today and the fog is starting to clear.

Take care.

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