I had 3 days sober. No big accomplishment but I was feeling good. I was ready to go into the holidays totally sober and be ok with it. Then… a random job thing related to my boyfriend gave me doubts 
I knew I shouldn’t drink but I didn’t know what else to do, 3 days in my only coping mechanism is still to drink! And I did. I told myself not to. I told myself to come here and read the posts and remind yourself why.
But I didn’t, I went for the drink.
I am so disappointed in myself and I don’t feel any better than I did 5 hours ago!
I didn’t know any better way to deal with the curveball that life naturally threw at me.
Hitting reset and hoping I can do better next time
What helped me was talking to people about this disease and being around people that have the same goal and I can relate to. I found that in AA. It was so scary for me to join meetings and till this day I still don’t know why I was so scared to go, but I can tell you that without AA I wouldn’t be 39 days sober. I made new friends there 
this forum helped me out also but I needed more than this forum. Try and get as much support as you can and Be patient with yourself … this journey isn’t easy.
Thank you @ariana2607! The person I spoke to finally about my issue is the person who is causing me problems. I think you’re right that I need to seek out others. AA is kinda new to me but I think I might find a meeting and go and see what happens. I need someone not close to me to relate to. Thank you
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