# Truth and Tough Love #2
**URL:** https://talkingsober.com/t/truth-and-tough-love-2/74534
**Category:** Motivation
**Created:** [December 1, 2019, 3:21am UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/truth-and-tough-love-2/74534 "2019-12-01T03:21:05Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 4
### Author:  [@Yoda-Stevie](https://talkingsober.com/u/Yoda-Stevie)
#### Post date: [December 12, 2019, 1:21pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/truth-and-tough-love-2/74534/71 "2019-12-12T13:21:28Z")
> [@Greymook](#):
>
> I run that risk I think, if a tragedy of that magnitude occurred… losing children.
We all do. Anyone, and I mean anyone, has the potential to succumb to grief and despair, except maybe a sociopath, or psychopath.
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### Author:  [@Englishd](https://talkingsober.com/u/Englishd)
#### Post date: [December 12, 2019, 2:28pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/truth-and-tough-love-2/74534/72 "2019-12-12T14:28:18Z")
Trejo attended his first 12-step meeting when he was just 15. “They tell you if you leave [Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous], you will die, go insane or go to jail,” Trejo says. “And I proved that right. Every time I left, I went to jail.”
Bro has been sober 51 years. Just sayin’
> **[How Danny Trejo Has Stayed Sober for 51 Years](https://variety.com/2019/biz/news/danny-trejo-sober-addiction-recovery-1203392402/)**
>
> In Variety’s Recovery Issue, prominent entertainment figures offer insights on navigating a sober life in Hollywood. For more, click here. Danny Trejo hasn’t had a drink or taken an illegal …
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### Author:  [@Yoda-Stevie](https://talkingsober.com/u/Yoda-Stevie)
#### Post date: [December 12, 2019, 2:48pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/truth-and-tough-love-2/74534/73 "2019-12-12T14:48:16Z")
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### Author:  [@VSue](https://talkingsober.com/u/VSue)
#### Post date: [December 12, 2019, 3:24pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/truth-and-tough-love-2/74534/74 "2019-12-12T15:24:20Z")
I love it when people who are open about what AA has given them. Especially celebrities because they have such strong influence (whether it is deserved or not is another debate). I’ve recently read stories from Brad Pitt (about 1.5 years sober) and Dylan McDermott (35 years sober) talking about the men’s groups they belong to. I think it is fabulous. Anonymity should not mean “in the closet”. The 11th Tradition states “Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion…” The best way to attract new comers is by showing the successes.
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### Author:  [@Yoda-Stevie](https://talkingsober.com/u/Yoda-Stevie)
#### Post date: [December 13, 2019, 4:57pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/truth-and-tough-love-2/74534/79 "2019-12-13T16:57:38Z")
I would agree in principle, however if the addict’s continued employment is contingent upon working a formal program, perhaps AA, SMART, NA, etc should be given as options.
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### Author:  [@Yoda-Stevie](https://talkingsober.com/u/Yoda-Stevie)
#### Post date: [December 13, 2019, 5:07pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/truth-and-tough-love-2/74534/81 "2019-12-13T17:07:49Z")
Bottom line is there were requirements for him to regain his nursing license, a doctor was involved in prescribing the treatment plan, and he objected to the plan. Now perhaps he’d have gotten little benefit from forced attendance, but it could have helped too.
Some states require habitual drunk drivers to attend meetings as a condition to haveling their driver’s licenses reinstated. Do we object to that, or are we happy that someone who might be a menace on the road is at least accountable for showing up to meetings.
Think of what a nurse with a drug or alcohol addiction could do…
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### Author:  [@SoberHappyJessi](https://talkingsober.com/u/SoberHappyJessi)
#### Post date: [December 13, 2019, 5:29pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/truth-and-tough-love-2/74534/83 "2019-12-13T17:29:02Z")
Here they do that. When you get caught with drugs or caught driving drunk they force you 5 times a week for 6-12 months of AA meetings.
I never understood it. Like if the person has a problem but aren’t honestly ready to admit they have one we all know AA won’t help because its just going to go in one ear and out the other and they will start to hate the concept. Then when they are ready to admit they need help AA wont be an option because they were forced into doing it before and hated it.
I hate that. You all know i am not a meeting person but to force someone is just fucking wrong.
why make them choose between meetings and prison. thats not fair.
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### Author:  [@SoberHappyJessi](https://talkingsober.com/u/SoberHappyJessi)
#### Post date: [December 13, 2019, 5:58pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/truth-and-tough-love-2/74534/86 "2019-12-13T17:58:47Z")
in the rare occasion it helps people.
take my mom. she got her DUI got sent to AA and is now almost 11 years sober and chairs meetings.
but the DUI was a huge eye opener for her because they showed her the arrest video and she didn’t remember any of it 😬 🤦♀️
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### Author:  [@Englishd](https://talkingsober.com/u/Englishd)
#### Post date: [December 13, 2019, 7:09pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/truth-and-tough-love-2/74534/88 "2019-12-13T19:09:10Z")
You know what I actually enjoy about sobriety? It’s not the good days. It’s easy to enjoy good days. It’s the really fucking shitty days, which I am on a run on. The client’s I work with currently seem to have all hit a rough patch at once and I am struggling to keep up with the emergencies. I understand it’s a job, but it’s really hard not to get personally involved sometimes. This week is that sometimes. Anyway, back to why I like the shitty days. It’s because even though these are shitty days, I know they will pass. I know that I can get enough work done to be okay. And the thought of getting high or drunk has not crossed my mind. That’s why I like the worst of the days. It’s because my sobriety has allowed me to get through them just like any other day.
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### Author:  [@Gabe.G](https://talkingsober.com/u/Gabe.G)
#### Post date: [December 13, 2019, 8:34pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/truth-and-tough-love-2/74534/89 "2019-12-13T20:34:06Z")
I do know quite a few people that started out on a court card. They ended up sticking with it tho.
I always like to say that I came in on “the Wife Card”. Even tho I never got offered an ultimatum from her. There was never the “get sober or I will leave”. Nope, she just left. With no intention of coming back either. But I guess the old HP had other plans for us.
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### Author:  [@Eke](https://talkingsober.com/u/Eke)
#### Post date: [December 14, 2019, 12:29am UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/truth-and-tough-love-2/74534/90 "2019-12-14T00:29:42Z")
I have just had a shitty day. Shitty week. All kinds of crises.
And you’re dead right. My thought was, “Let’s deal with this shit” instead of “I need a drink.”
That’s a dang miracle. And I’m finishing this week feelin pretty good.
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### Author:  [@anon13078412](https://talkingsober.com/u/anon13078412)
#### Post date: [December 14, 2019, 4:52am UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/truth-and-tough-love-2/74534/91 "2019-12-14T04:52:05Z")
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### Author:  [@Englishd](https://talkingsober.com/u/Englishd)
#### Post date: [December 14, 2019, 12:10pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/truth-and-tough-love-2/74534/92 "2019-12-14T12:10:39Z")
Today I will not be cosigning any bullshit. If you bitch about a relapse but then state how you aren’t going to do anything. Well as my great great grandsponsor says “Suffer well!”. You come here all the time and post about your relapses once a month but claim you don’t know what to do? Clearly you don’t want help because you obviously haven’t read a single thread, you just come here to piss and moan. Can drugs cure drug addiction. Well, I don’t know Karen, let’s check it out. SUBSTANCE SPECIFIC ADDICTION IS NOT A THING! You aren’t just a pill head. You’re an addict and that includes booze. It may take longer for the symptoms to manifest, but trust me. You will get there. You know why? Your brain can’t tell the difference between what’s releasing those pleasant endorphins. All it knows is they are being released. So no, drugs cannot cure your drug addiction. You’ll have to find another way to justify your continued use.
Anything else?
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### Author:  [@OneBoiledOwl](https://talkingsober.com/u/OneBoiledOwl)
#### Post date: [December 14, 2019, 2:29pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/truth-and-tough-love-2/74534/93 "2019-12-14T14:29:07Z")
I’ve even abused exercise addictively, my brain is a piece of work when it comes to dopamine…
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### Author:  [@Yoda-Stevie](https://talkingsober.com/u/Yoda-Stevie)
#### Post date: [December 14, 2019, 3:20pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/truth-and-tough-love-2/74534/94 "2019-12-14T15:20:27Z")
> [@SoberHappyJessi](#):
>
> why make them choose between meetings and prison. thats not fair.
Maybe giving them a choice of being somewhere they’d rather not be for short periods of time, with the slight chance they may actually benefit, is a better choice than being locked up 24x7, a place where no one wants to be.
Even with compulsory attendance at meetings, someone can maintain a job, isn’t separated from their family. For someone whose root issue is substance abuse, where would they have a higher chance of being rehabilitated? AA, or Jail?
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### Author:  [@Yoda-Stevie](https://talkingsober.com/u/Yoda-Stevie)
#### Post date: [December 14, 2019, 3:26pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/truth-and-tough-love-2/74534/95 "2019-12-14T15:26:43Z")
> [@Eke](#):
>
> And you’re dead right. My thought was, “Let’s deal with this shit” instead of “I need a drink.”
In fighting I have learned that “shelling up” isn’t a good defensive strategy when getting punched. Those that shell up will just keep getting hit, and eventually some punches land and do damage.
The best way to stop an opponent from punching you, is to counter-punch. Applied to life throwing crap at you, punch back.
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### Author:  [@Yoda-Stevie](https://talkingsober.com/u/Yoda-Stevie)
#### Post date: [December 14, 2019, 5:00pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/truth-and-tough-love-2/74534/96 "2019-12-14T17:00:15Z")
Sail long enough, and you will face your share of storms and headwinds, and can appreciate days of fair winds and following winds.
Calm seas make weak sailors.
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### Author:  [@VSue](https://talkingsober.com/u/VSue)
#### Post date: [December 14, 2019, 5:04pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/truth-and-tough-love-2/74534/97 "2019-12-14T17:04:17Z")
Me too. I do everything addictively. I get nervous when I hear people talk about how much they exercise because I know I’ve gone too far in that activity. 😞
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### Author:  [@anon79808082](https://talkingsober.com/u/anon79808082)
#### Post date: [December 14, 2019, 5:07pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/truth-and-tough-love-2/74534/98 "2019-12-14T17:07:45Z")
Very good point @Yoda-Stevie. I worked in the prison system for about 7 years and was at one point starting their aa meetings in the morning, lol. They weren’t excited about it ever, but they were a captivated audience, lol!
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### Author:  [@SoberHappyJessi](https://talkingsober.com/u/SoberHappyJessi)
#### Post date: [December 14, 2019, 6:57pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/truth-and-tough-love-2/74534/99 "2019-12-14T18:57:25Z")
That’s why I made the second post about the rare occasion it helping people because I’ve seen it help someone when they were ordered to go.
I just think that forcing someone to choose AA over being locked up is weird.
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