# Truth and tough love
**URL:** https://talkingsober.com/t/truth-and-tough-love/48167
**Category:** Your Story
**Created:** [November 25, 2018, 10:45pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/truth-and-tough-love/48167 "2018-11-25T22:45:05Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 41
### Author:  [@HoofHearted](https://talkingsober.com/u/HoofHearted)
#### Post date: [March 9, 2019, 3:26am UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/truth-and-tough-love/48167/929 "2019-03-09T03:26:43Z")
Especially if his nickname is Sparky.
Never trust a one eyed proctologist!
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### Author:  [@Lionfish](https://talkingsober.com/u/Lionfish)
#### Post date: [March 9, 2019, 5:09am UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/truth-and-tough-love/48167/931 "2019-03-09T05:09:34Z")
I think a really great way to help others when you’re new to sobriety (which I still feel I am) is by reaching out to others that are posting about something they’re going through in early sobriety as well and just saying “Hey I can relate to that, here’s something I do that helps” or even just agreeing something sucks or is incredible.
However, I think you do all that already @Bootz
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### Author:  [@Yoda-Stevie](https://talkingsober.com/u/Yoda-Stevie)
#### Post date: [March 9, 2019, 10:29am UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/truth-and-tough-love/48167/933 "2019-03-09T10:29:36Z")
Or a shop teacher with missing fingers
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### Author:  [@Englishd](https://talkingsober.com/u/Englishd)
#### Post date: [March 9, 2019, 12:47pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/truth-and-tough-love/48167/934 "2019-03-09T12:47:10Z")
Share your story. And funny memes. If you have a relapse then you can share what didn’t work. Most importantly, try to help yourself.
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### Author:  [@Yoda-Stevie](https://talkingsober.com/u/Yoda-Stevie)
#### Post date: [March 9, 2019, 1:01pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/truth-and-tough-love/48167/935 "2019-03-09T13:01:28Z")
It’s recess, and you are a new kid at school. First you see a mass of kids. Then you look closer and notice they have broken down into smaller groups, each playing a different game. Tag here. Hide and seek there. Kickball over here, Red Rover over there. There’s even a couple you can’t recognize, so you watch them, and figure out the game.
Now every day you can join a different group at recess. You can participate because you’ve figured out what’s going on in each group (thread), and who the players are (users). Some days you pick and start the game and invite other kids to play. Sometimes it’s a new game, and every kid wants to play.
At least that’s the way I see it.
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### Author:  [@ifs](https://talkingsober.com/u/ifs)
#### Post date: [March 9, 2019, 9:46pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/truth-and-tough-love/48167/936 "2019-03-09T21:46:56Z")
Sorry.
I mean, that’s not directed at you specifically, and I’m not under the illusion that a “sorry” fixes anything, or looking for anyone to pat my shoulder and say we all make mistakes. What I mean is I’m owning that I’ve been guilty of this, especially in my first months here. I’ve made steps since then to be more mindful of what I’m saying in my posts, and to avoid this advice issue, but it won’t hurt me to review this effort. I needed this reminder. A lot of my mistakes are made on autopilot without sufficient awareness on my part.
If someone has noticed me doing this more recently and wants to PM me to point out examples, that’ll help me develop this awareness, because it’s easy to be blind to your own stuff.
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### Author:  [@Donnie\_Spiering](https://talkingsober.com/u/Donnie_Spiering)
#### Post date: [March 10, 2019, 8:31am UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/truth-and-tough-love/48167/937 "2019-03-10T08:31:17Z")
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### Author:  [@Englishd](https://talkingsober.com/u/Englishd)
#### Post date: [March 10, 2019, 1:36pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/truth-and-tough-love/48167/938 "2019-03-10T13:36:05Z")
I really didn’t think I would have to post this again but…
Drinking does not improve your mental health. Period. It does not lessen your anxiety. It doesn’t treat depression. It doesn’t make you less BPD. It does nothing but harm you. If you have a MH issue and you take a mind altering substance, that isn’t specifically designed to treat your disease, then you are making things worse. And guess what?!? Alcohol isn’t designed to treat anything!
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### Author:  [@DungeonMaster](https://talkingsober.com/u/DungeonMaster)
#### Post date: [March 10, 2019, 2:00pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/truth-and-tough-love/48167/939 "2019-03-10T14:00:16Z")
Maybe if youre cleaning a wound…
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### Author:  [@Yoda-Stevie](https://talkingsober.com/u/Yoda-Stevie)
#### Post date: [March 10, 2019, 2:16pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/truth-and-tough-love/48167/940 "2019-03-10T14:16:33Z")
Or prepping a piece of furniture for varnishing.
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### Author:  [@aircircle](https://talkingsober.com/u/aircircle)
#### Post date: [March 10, 2019, 2:33pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/truth-and-tough-love/48167/941 "2019-03-10T14:33:21Z")
Despite what I previously thought, I could not appropriately treat my mental health until I put the plug in the jug. ANY KIND of self medicating was just making things worse. Despite what I thought or was telling myself, I was walking a path to death by a thousand cuts. The biggest act of self-love I have ever done was to stop putting any mind altering substance into my body except those prescribed by my doctor, in the way they are prescribed.
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### Author:  [@Hazy](https://talkingsober.com/u/Hazy)
#### Post date: [March 10, 2019, 10:18pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/truth-and-tough-love/48167/942 "2019-03-10T22:18:20Z")
Sorry edited… I didn’t mean to reply to specific user, twas by accident, just a reply to the thread
You guys! 😁 😁 😁 😁
Alcohol to treat a wound…or before varnishing!
Truth!.. 👍👍👍🙏
Liking all posts in this thread. Serious, but it’s good to have a few one liners in there for grins!
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### Author:  [@ifs](https://talkingsober.com/u/ifs)
#### Post date: [March 11, 2019, 4:43am UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/truth-and-tough-love/48167/943 "2019-03-11T04:43:26Z")
Every single psychiatric hospitalization I’ve had has happened with less than six months sober. Coincidence? I think not. There’s lasting damage even when the intoxication and the detox has passed.
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### Author:  [@Englishd](https://talkingsober.com/u/Englishd)
#### Post date: [March 11, 2019, 12:12pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/truth-and-tough-love/48167/944 "2019-03-11T12:12:53Z")
I have a lot of clients with a severe mental illness. In 9 months pretty much every admission has been due to drugs. Probably 19 of 20
My clients who have stayed sober have fewer health problems mental and physical
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### Author:  [@Fireweed](https://talkingsober.com/u/Fireweed)
#### Post date: [March 11, 2019, 12:56pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/truth-and-tough-love/48167/945 "2019-03-11T12:56:05Z")
May i ask what is your proffession?
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### Author:  [@Englishd](https://talkingsober.com/u/Englishd)
#### Post date: [March 11, 2019, 1:07pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/truth-and-tough-love/48167/946 "2019-03-11T13:07:07Z")
Former legal aid lawyer. Now I’m a Care Manager. I provide linkage/support/advocacy for clients with HIV, substance use disorder, severe mental illness. My clients are all low income and have little to no experience in navigating health care and generally cannot access doctors, treatment or social programs without a lot of assistance.
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### Author:  [@anon84416494](https://talkingsober.com/u/anon84416494)
#### Post date: [March 11, 2019, 1:37pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/truth-and-tough-love/48167/947 "2019-03-11T13:37:16Z")
You were in my dream last night Derek. Didn’t look like you but it was you. You were outside the pub I used to work in and you were reverse psyching me out of using drugs.
This force is strong in this truth and tough love.
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### Author:  [@TMAC](https://talkingsober.com/u/TMAC)
#### Post date: [March 11, 2019, 1:41pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/truth-and-tough-love/48167/948 "2019-03-11T13:41:45Z")
He’s like the Freddy Krueger of sobriety. Popping into dreams, keeping folks on the straight-and-narrow.
🎶 1, 2, Derek’s comin’ for you…🎶
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### Author:  [@BondJaneBond](https://talkingsober.com/u/BondJaneBond)
#### Post date: [March 11, 2019, 2:11pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/truth-and-tough-love/48167/949 "2019-03-11T14:11:39Z")
Delete or deactivate Facebook, snap, Instagram, Twitter, etc. your first year of sobriety.
For multiple reasons…
1. Priorities. Give your sobriety the full attention it deserves in your downtime
2. Time to reign in your ego. You don’t need to promote yourself right now.
3. It’s addictive. Breaking this habit is empowering
4. Your fragile ego doesn’t need the fomo, anxiety or depression that follows after seeing everyone’s ‘perfect’ life
5. It robs you of sleep. Get your phone out of your bedroom. Charge it in the kitchen overnight
6. It’s overwhelming you with insignificant junk that appears important, but isn’t
7. Drinking is rampant on there. Stop this potentially deadly assault on your thinking
8. Get real. In person is better. We are so inept at personal relationships in the beginning . We need to learn how to have them again, before we promote the fact that we do.
9. Stop fueling the fantasy. It’s exhausting proving your relevance everyday & remaining interesting everyday
10. It can harbor secrets. We don’t need secrets. We don’t need a platform that allows us to stalk an ex… or receive a message from him/her. We’re lousy judges of what’s good for us right now
11. Break the habit of ‘friend’ approval, recognition, attention & praise. Be your own authority. Seeing that notification pop up is a drug in itself.
12. It’s a solo, solitary, isolating activity. I have a thinking problem…that leads to a drinking problem. Too much drama & negativity doesn’t help. We need calm & positivity. Walk away
Quietly, slowly, intentionally get sober. Get to know yourself. Get to like yourself. Get to love yourself. Clean house. Get a better set of friends, repair relationships, help others struggling…And then, if you want re-introduce yourself to the world. Go for it!
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### Author:  [@Yoda-Stevie](https://talkingsober.com/u/Yoda-Stevie)
#### Post date: [March 11, 2019, 2:22pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/truth-and-tough-love/48167/950 "2019-03-11T14:22:12Z")
5 years “facebook sober”. Never tweeted, and have never been “instadamned”.
Just like drinking, I am free, and never going back.
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