Just read his, must have missed it the first time around…what a great read 
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I like the brutal honesty!
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A negative attitude breeds negative results.
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Word Nerd activated… there’s this thing that floats around: WATCH. Words, actions, thoughts, character, and habits. They all play on each other and it’s up to us to choose them.
It’s been said in many ways, but one of my favorites:
Watch your thoughts, they become words;
watch your words, they become actions;
watch your actions, they become habits;
watch your habits, they become character;
watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.
That s–t is real, so choose wisely in all you do.
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A little reinforcement in regards to that post @BondJaneBond made a couple weeks ago about social media.
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Agreed. It’s a time suck that keeps sucking. Notifications keep whispering to you every :10 min, followed by spikes of adrenaline like you’re missing something big if you don’t go look. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram & Snap are designed to make you feel like you’re famous. It’s a dangerous delusion in early sobriety (or anytime). Promoting myself online made me feel unique & important. Like my views carried more weight, my comments & life more meaning and my likes given… or not given signaled my power.
Social media is addictive, divisive and an illusion. It encourages our ego to run rampant. It encourages people to beg & chase other people to validate them, to reassure them that their thoughts & feelings are correct. It also encourages harsh judgement of others & especially of ourselves. It ridiculously dares us to spend hours daily… gunning for glory.
I cannot imagine trying to get sober & be cool online at the same time. It takes an enormous amount of time & head space whether you’re online or off. It distracts you, from yourself, your life & your task at hand… getting sober. There is nothing more important on the face of this earth than what you’re doing right now… obtaining & maintaining your sobriety. If there’s ever a time in your life to stop for a moment. Just stop. To reassess your patterns of engaging with the world around you & the people in your life … it’s right here, right now. Eliminating the need to chase attention, praise or popularity is monumentally important to long term sobriety… it’s not a punishment, it’s a crucial mental shift that’s necessary.
Like Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz…you’ve had the power all along…You don’t need to beg, chase or prove anything to anyone except to yourself, your God & your family. You don’t need the stamp of approval from your bubble of acquaintances to feel good, valued or relevant …and if you do, I’d examine that need first, before I ever updated my status again.
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This is so true.
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Clean and sober from facebook and other social media except this board and LinkedIn since Sept 2018, 6 months and I think I’ll go for a whole year! The withdrawal sucked the first two months but so glad I stuck it out- just a little less drama and addictive behavior and a little more peace of mind is well worth it today!
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The three most dangerous words I’ve ever spoken.
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Oh my, I LOVE THIS POST! I’ve had a love/hate relationship with social media for a long time! I finally cut the cord and got rid of Facebook. That was the biggie for me. It literally gave me anxiety! I still use snap and IG occasionally but it’s not the first thing I look at on my phone and I very rarely go on them anymore. In my opinion, people are so ADDICTED to technology and social media. I try to stay away from it nowadays. I’ll tell ya what, I get a whole lot more done with my time! Also, I don’t want to spend my whole life looking down at my phone. This app is my exception as I use it for accountability and support 
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I definitely have been afraid a few times the last week! Just wanted to be home in the cover of my house,!.. Aswell as turning down an offer of going out Saturday night (didn’t feel like I missed out at all and turned that down last Thursday ) another spanner was thrown in the works… (Higher power tests?) a friend showed up at my work who I hadn’t seen for near on a year down to drunken rows and other things… Sadly this friend did not look well, and staggered a little when speaking to me, heart was beating hard and I had to say sorry mate I have a client I gotta go back in, I finish at 5 we’ll speak then okay?.. Anyhow they never showed at 5 and I went home 
… Was thinking most of afternoon where shall we go to talk? I don’t wanna go to a pub… Fuck shit fuck etc! Feel bad that I couldn’t do the helping another alcoholic yesterday but it was too hard and that friend used to be my best friend. Best. 
. I am sure i will see again. It was a major sign how they looked and where I was. And where I am… The universe/God will throw a few signposts in the road… What a week. Honestly. 
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@hazy Thanks for sharing. I haven’t reached the point of having contact with anyone else (except my bike riding buddies and they do/did not know of my issue). I managed to shed everyone else in my life since even the drunks I knew thought I was F’d up. They thought I was a lost soul and finally dropped me off to wither. I am not sure what will happen once I start seeing people again as I venture out more. I am in no frame of mind to go to the places I used to go, and I am purposely choosing other places that I never went to (coffee shops, restaurants, etc.) I cooked at home tonight b/c a lot of folks I used to run with are normally out on Sundays. I am glad you were able to handle this situation; it sounded stressful. It makes me think I need to pre-plan to make sure I don’t find myself on the defensive when this finally occurs. You did the right thing and cannot help someone else until you have finished helping yourself (big enough task). I think you are around the 17 day mark, so stay smart, stay strong, and make sure you keep fighting. 
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Thank you
There’s no rule that states that people, places and things that were once part of our lives, must remain part of our lives.
I don’t maintain contact with anyone I grew up with, really, except one I occasionally exchange texts with, and my family. I have friends from my service days, but I rarely get together with them. I have a friend I met through work, and one I met through Martial Arts, and a couple I used to hike with. I don’t have party buddies.
It’s OK to put people from our past, in our past, and focus on our present and future. We don’t have an obligation to relive “old times”.
It’s called “personal growth and maturity”.
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It’s ok to put people from our past in our past - resonating a lot with me today. Thanks yoda.
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Wow. So, so true. It’s heartbreaking to see people’s faces in their phones all the time especially when young children are present and being ignored. That in itself is so damaging to the kids.
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