I met my friend Dave, whom I haven’t seen since I last used 16 years ago. I didn’t know if meeting would turn to him offering me a pipe. Thankfully, it didn’t. He’s 42 and off drugs and alcohol for about 9 months. He has a wife and a cute three-year-old boy.
After I told him about my going to meetings, he shared a story about his experience.
He came to AA, got a sponsor, had a regular group like a home group, and began working steps. But he started getting upset about everyone in the group bringing him down.
Dave comes from an affluent family. He graduated from Princeton. Upon straightening up his life and laying down the vices, many good opportunities came his way fast.
It’s like his sponsor and new group members wanted him to suffer the first year, presumably like they did, and kept hounding him about being humble, and not making any decisions, belittling his own abilities and putting his sobriety first.
Dave received outcast and negativity likely spawned by those with jealousy and fear.
So I just moved back to this city, and I am the only friend Dave has in recovery. After some observation, I’d like to attract him back to work steps leading to his happiness and stability, but I don’t want to sponsor him, because he’s my friend. And he should want to come back. The only thing I’ve come up with intuitively is to add him as a guest to an anniversary party we’re throwing in mid October for a friend celebrating one year. Perhaps a casual, fun environment with program people in attendance will be a good ice breaker at this point?