Taking it hourly I see, that’s a good way to live in the present.
Keep trudging, if you’re not moving forward you’re moving backwardd because time waits for nobody.
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I saw that your first post you were 50 hours clean in July. Now 234 hours. I just wanted to say I am proud of you for not only realizing that you didn’t want to follow the path of your mom, but also knowing you are 234 hours sober now, shows me that you are strong and determined. Slip ups aren’t “okay” per say BUT starting again each time you slip up is AMAZING 
️
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I am almost ready to take it into the daily increment, but hours just “look” like more. 
. Maybe at the 15 day mark? Until then, 273 hours working on my 11th day. 
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The first couple of attempts to get sober were so short that I felt they weren’t worthy of being counted in for this attempt. I know I didn’t lose that time though. If I were to follow in either my mothers footsteps or my fathers footsteps I would be either a pile of ashes or 6 ft under. I’m not ready for that and my kids need me.
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I was just reminded of why I would sometime drink by 6am when my drunken other half just came to bed and started to pick a drunk fight and verbally became abusive. Unfortunately there is no Involuntary Detox Commitment in NY state, sooooo…
I just love being woken up by a drunken idiot at 1:30am. Then I cant go back to sleep because said drunken odiot is rambling on about some inaudible nonsence, then is verbally agressive while falling asleep then twitching tossing and turning due to level of drunkeness. So I get up to go sleep in the living room. Peace for everyone, right? NOPE. Drunken idiot yells across house that if I dont go “back to bed” Im “gonna have a fucking problem”. Then random shoutouts like “Im gonna die and you dont care” or Im a “liar” on and on and on. All for no reason except level of drunkeness. Thennnnnn… Drunken idiot gets up to pee (Im hopeful it makes it into the toilet but I know it wont so I know to bring a cleaning cloth to the bathroom with me when I need to go) He falls in the bathroom (not the first time) and splits his face open on the eyebrow. Good thing Ive watched a few boxing movies and know the blood stops easily and even though he needs stitches he will be fine. I cant wait for him to wake up in the morning to say I did it to him. Ugh… Ive gotta be up in 3 and a half hours. This is gonna be great.
I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this. You’re really trying your best to get some rest/keep the peace while he’s being a drunken ass then hurts himself. I’m sorry you’re only getting a few hours of sleep and then having to wake up to a drunk and injured husband. Did you end up writing him that letter yesterday?
Hi
You must be incredible to cope with this. I hope you dont mind me asking this… Is there anywhere you and kids can stay for a while to reduce the strain on you all?
Yes I did. He said he did nothing wrong and that I am just looking for a reason to fight. Never said those things etc. Pure denial. His continuous downward sprial is helping me to be all the more successful in my sobriety because I am in so much more control now and not retaliating with my own drunken behavior.
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If you don’t think he’s going to stop drinking what are your plans with him? This is a hard question and you don’t have to answer right away. I’m just thinking of you, your sobriety and your kids well being.
I’m not willing to leave the house. I pay all the bills. He doesnt work much nor has he in the last 21 years. All sporadic and short term. I am not sure what the future holds I can only deal with right now and perhaps revisit it all after Christmas. Right now I’m only trying to keep the peace.
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Praying for you my friend! That’s hard stuff right there but staring down that everyday must help you to say thank god that’s not me i am sober!
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I am sorry to hear that you are going through a very difficult time, especially with your kids. I can picture the person you are describing, not productive, self absorbed with narcissistic tendencies. No matter what you do or don’t do will be a problem caused by you in his eyes. Can you record his actions or drunk conversations and save them? They might come handy some day.
Hang in there, your kids need you, you need you. Put the oxygen mask on yourself first. You can do it. Reach deep within and find that fierce person who has been providing for her family while battling addiction and abuse. You have it in you. You have to believe in yourself and love yourself first. You can do it and we are here to support you, listen to you, give you unconditional love so you can heal. Much love.
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yes actually. I started recording a little over a month ago. Also have his voicemails and text messages. I even told him I was recording him and he straight up said he didnt give a fuck.
Another plus side to my sobriety is that I stay a lot more active and busy after I get home from work. Im not sitting on the couch watching tv drinking and feeding into drunken behavior. Ive told him that I havent drank since Dec 5th and that I need to stay busy. So its been my way to just stay away from him.
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Stay strong. You can do it. You are already doing it but as you know it is a journey we have to keep ourselves in check. Good luck. Stay in good spirits. It will help you.
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So sorry you have to deal with all this while so early in your own sobriety. It is going to be a tough go, but you are handling it brilliantly. Stay strong and check in often. You’ve got a ton of people here that are pulling for you.
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I think you and your kids have every right to stay in the house in which you pay 
for… if anyone has to leave in the future it’s going to be HIM. It sounds like you know what you’re doing and have a plan going on… good for you! We’re here is you need emotional support or advice! Keep your chin up and head forward and take one day at a time
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I feel really sorry for your children. No doubt this is affecting them. He needs to stop and you need to commit to keeping sober or you will fuck up your kids-if you already haven’t and they will resent you. I’m surprised you saw your mother die at 40 from alcohol, you kept drinking daily and you are still with an alcoholic man who abuses you??? It’s not a joke, this is your life and the life of your kids at stake.
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Are you enabling or paying for his alcohol still? Leave his problem for him to figure out. You need to seperate yourself from such a toxic relationship. Staying around this life style is eventually is going to cause you to relapse. Hes always going to be dead weight holding you back even if you do stay sober. Your just scared to leave because hes probably physically also as well as verbally abusive when drunk. He also probably says selfish suicidal thoughts if you leave. 9 times outta 10 its just words to make you stay. Id recommend maybe looking into al anon meeting if you choose to stay. The way you talk to and about each other you have no respect for one another.
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Stopped paying for his habbit the day I stopped drinking. Interestingly enough he did not drink last night. Maybe the slap in the face (face plant) with reality hurt a little.
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