Hi Lexx, it’s a journey and keep my fingers crossed for you - what helped me just recently was this post What's YOUR plan?. I quit drinking few times during the last 6 months, and with each combination of relapse&quitting I always learn something new about myself and the process of staying sober (e.g. what the triggers to drink are for me). With that information from the post above I understood the whole process much better and is helping me staying sober. Don’t push yourself too hard yet plan quitting alcohol some day, prepare for it. Be well 
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