So day 1 after relapse has past. Im still feeling shitty and sad. Again, i have hard to remember the night, but to get over this, i think i have to just forget and move on and take it as a lesson learned. So now i have to make a plan moving forward. The first steps is:
to talk to my boyfriend and be assured that he is not leaving me.
try to forgive myself and say that the only thing i can do is to reassure myself that i wont happen again.
contact my alcohol therapist and say i want to get back on antabuse, to reassure that it wont happen again at least in this early steps of Recovery and to show my love that i really mean it.
Your plan sounds like a good one ,relapse that’s part of recovery, getting onto your thearpist is a great idea having a program is place is a no 1 I believe for long term recovery ,I wish you all the best,keep reaching out.
I wouldn’t worry about the first one. Concentrate on sorting yourself out. The rest will fall into place.
If you feel that you bf is going to leave you then use this to give you strength and resolve to do the right thing.
I mean what’s going to happen if you find out that he is going to leave you because of the way you have been?
Are you going to hit the bottle again to drown your sorrows?
Show him that you can change not that you are relying on how he feels about you for your emotional stability.
Check out recovery groups. Do this for you!
Thanks alot. Just need someone to talk to. I think its very hard being on day number 2 and havent seen my boyfriend yet, so im still full of anxeity. You know im affraid that i have done something unfaithfull to him, because i cant remember. What to do about this fear
I dont think i would hit the bottle, but i will definately be heartbroken and i think i will loose faith i myself. Because he is my mayor support and one of the biggest reason to wanna Change my life to the better.
Yes I can understand this.
About 8/9 months ago I had to come to terms with the fact that my wife and I would have to split up.
I was about 6 months into my sobriety and she still drinks. We had had a couple of big arguments, one involved the police being called by a neighbour!
It hurt me to realise that I had been in a co-dependent relationship with my wife after reading about co-dependence.
I put too much stock on how making my wife happy had become my life’s goal.
I went away for the weekend on a planned walking trip and instead of enjoying of the scenery, I spent a lot of time in my head.
Driving down I was tempted to buy drink, I mean, I was on my own, no one would know right?
But by the of the weekend I had firmly set in my head that I was getting sober for me.
Any thing that happened to me because of this, happens because it is supposed to.
Im happy to say that after I stopped putting everything I had emotionally into my marriage and stood back to concentrate on making myself a better person things are definitely better with my marriage.
Please I’m. Not advocating drinking but if you slip please keep yourself safe,it’s sounds like when you do drink anything could of happend to you and you wouldn’t even remember,there’s alot of predators out there,I remember waking up once with my clothes round ankles in a field when I was a teenager,someone had sex with me and I can’t even remember so technically it was rape, please please please be careful ,there’s the addiction side but with drinking there’s also a massive dangerous side BC of the situation we find ourselves in with most drugs you know what’s going just about in your surroundings but alcohol is another story altogether.pls be safe. Xxcc
Ohh so sorry to hear that dear. But that i fortunately havent experienced not thus time or other times. But i have experienced getting kissed but not wanted to. And that too happend two days ago and find it hard to forgive myself eventhough i didnt agree to have this happen to me
Don’t beat yourself up ,our deseise is progressive it will get worse if you can grab hold of soberity now and make it work for you,most of the anexitys you have ATM will subside ,I’m not saying life will be sunshine and roses but it will be easier for you on so many levels,maybe get a paper and pen and write down the consequences of your drinking then write down the consequences byou get by not drinking ,I find getting it outta my head and down in paper makes so much more sense.wush you the best,try not to worry to much about your bf that will work itself out.xx
No I wouldn’t tbh ,let it go you don’t need the extra stress and like you said he kissed you and that was it ,there’s nothing to tell .be kind to yourself and just take everything slow and steady your be surprised how the days rack up ,yes your Gona have good bad and in the middle days take them for what they are ,days in early recovery.ilbkeep an eye out for you I’d love to see how your journey progresses I believe you could have an amazing happy clean life,you just need to believe it.xxxx
Thanks alot just didnt know what to do about it tbh. So helps that you said so. I will keep posting and checking in, so im not feeling alone. And i know my life with out the DOC is better. When i was on antabuse in two month i have never felt better. Ofcause there was hard days where i wanted to drink but because of the meds i couldnt and therefore had to tacle everything differently. That was hard but also a good lesson
I know i need to do this for me first and foremost. But he for sure is my biggest support and reason that i found out i needed to Change. I will start antabuse monday evening and then seek my therapist when im there. And then i have found a meeting near me on thuesday and i think i will go, to get some support from others too and from some who has been in the same situation. Making this my last day 2.
Thanks alot Jane. I think i have to do all this to get the extra push and not just keep falling back and start over. I really need to make this my last relapse because every time i relapse im destroying myself and my life more and more.
I have been reading along with you.
And all I can say is please DON’T forget about that NIGHT. Please be aware of how you get.
Read through the thread you made.
And surrender to the fact you cannot do this alone.
Annabuse is not a solution in the long run. Your mind has to change the way it works really.
Annabuse is just a way to place the issue away into time.
Putting your head in the sand metaforicly is not helping you.
Get to meetings you’ll have to work your sobriety!
Especially when you think forgetting is a solution it will bite you in the back when you are not looking.
you made a plan for going to that funeral. And now you are making a plan again. Are you going to hold up to this plan? What’s different this time then?
About your boyfriend, if he does take his distance can you blame him? How many times did you choose the DOC over him?
In your last reply you, are allready making room not to go to that meeting…
Planning might help but the key word is Surrender you are really powerless to the substance.
I asked you a couple of questions. You don’t need to reply on here if you don’t feel like it (I would understand) but my suggestion is to write the questions down on a piece of paper. Look at them for a while and then answer them for yourself.
And remember this recovery thingdoesn’t have to be fun all the time neither was using…
I wish you all the positive energy in the world to get your mind going good luck Daniella.
Okay first of all its a long reply you have sent and thanks for that. Second i just wasnt strong enough to hold on to my funeral plan, but i hadnt planned that my brother didnt have the oppotunity to be together after the funeral.
No i cant blame him at all, but i just have to hang on to the hope, that he will stay. I choose the DOC five times.
No antabuse isnt a long term solution, but it can be a good start to get my head up again until i can deal with it. And also it can show my boyfriend that im serious about it.
It wasnt my intention to make a room for not going to a meeting. I will go.
of the scenery, I spent a lot of time in my head.