I feel like I haven’t reached any big milestones in my journey towards recovery. I haven’t. I relapse quickly, intensely, & often. I feel like a failure, unable to ever relate when someone says they’ve finally made it to a month sober, always restarting my sobriety clock. It hurts that I know I can’t get better, & the people around me know it too.
Last night I got a message from my best friend saying “You’re falling again, aren’t you.”, even though I hadn’t told them anything. I guess they just knew something was wrong because they haven’t seen my around lately.
I hate this.
I hate feeling like such a failure, & having other people know I’m a failure too. No one in my life would even believe me if I said I was a month sober.
Sounds more like your friend was reaching out and trying to help rather than just firming up their belief that you’re a failure. Sounds like a good friend to have.
You are only a failure when you quit trying because it’s too hard. You only feel like a failure, when YOU FEEL like a failure. Stop telling yourself you’re a failure, work on a gratitude list. Don’t expect to part the Red Sea in your first 30 days of sobriety, hell don’t expect it in the first year. Every day sober is a day one/won.
Feeling bad for myself always made me continue the vicious cycle. Take a sad self pity day then start working hard on yourself. I would suggest journaling and self help groups but everyone is different. Just don’t fall into that mentality that you’re so bad you might as well keep digging. There is an end to this journey but you needed to believe in it or it will never come to fruition.
Don’t give up the fight for a better life… you deserve it.
We all stumble, for myself, it’s more times than I can count. As someone said… The only people who never fail, are those who don’t attempt anything
Aren’t they lucky
You tried a meeting makes getting sober and staying sober easier not for everyone but might help make new sober friends and get phone numbers wish you well
For a lot of people it takes a very long time and we fall a lot. If you want this, just keep trying and never give up. You need to want it for you though, and it will happen. Remember to give yourself credit for the sober days. Those are a big accomplishment. You are not a failure, if getting sober was easy then drinking problems wouldn’t exist. This is a great place for support, and you may want to find support in your community as well. I found a sober friend who has been a great help to me. She has 10 years sober, and she is so happy. I want that, and I want to be that light for others one day. That’s what is helping me along. Hang in there, you can do this.
