Some people stay on the trails when walking and some of us enjoy walking on the unbeaten path 
At one point in life I was the girl who stayed on the trails because I didn’t want people to see the real me if I wondered away from the path.
I pretended to be something I wasn’t for many years, even though the ones closest to me knew something was up. They just didn’t always know how bad.
Today I am completely open and honest about my drinking problem. I am no longer ashamed of it because I am not that person anymore.
I did a lot of stuff in my past I am not proud of but I am damn proud of the woman I am today. The changes I have made in myself are huge and I am a better person now then I ever have been.
The alcohol was holding me back from living the life I was meant to live. Holding me back from finding the man I was meant to be with, holding me back my my true happiness.
Getting sober is what I needed for my life to get better 
Today it was 75 degrees out and to enjoy the sunshine we went and out to the woods where we knew we could social distance. I at first walked through what I thought was just a bit of grass turned out it was a pit of mud ankle deep. I almost lost my shoes in it🤣 after getting my feet completely covered in mud I very much enjoyed playing in it the whole rest of the walk. It was so good for my soul to just be out there playing in the mud and puddles.
I honestly feel like when I was drinking it held so many parts of me back because I just didn’t get to do that type of thing. I didn’t have time to go out to the woods and just jump in mud puddles. I was more worried about when I could sneak a drink in without anyone noticing. Or how I was going to sneak to the store and get it into the house without anyone seeing it.
Today I 100% felt at ease and didn’t think about what I was doing next, didn’t worry about how I was going to get my dirty ass home or what I was going to do with these nasty shoes once I got there. I was just living in that moment. My daughter and I ran through a puddle that came up to our knees and I haven’t laughed that hard in I don’t know how long.
So if you are at that point in sobriety if you are wondering if it’s worth it, if it gets better it truly does. It takes time and it takes work but one day you will look back and realize you aren’t that person anymore. You are better. You can overcome this struggle.
I promise you that you can. Things will look up. I couldn’t tell you when things changed but I will be 3 years next month and my life is 100% different and it’s all for the better.
