Unrecognizable

Since becoming sober, does anyone look at a photo of themselves or in the mirror and it doesn’t look/feel quite right? As though you are unable to recognize the person you are looking at for a moment?

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I’ve seen old pictures and am shocked at how bloated and puffy my face was. Even after a few short relapses, it still looks like my head lost ten pounds. Very inspiring and helps motivate me to keep trying.

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Every time we read step 3 from the Twelve and Twelve, I come across these lines. After years of sobriety, they bring me back instantly to the end of my drinking.

One good look in the mirror ought to be answer enough for any alcoholic.
Should his own image in the mirror be too awful to contemplate (and it usually is),…

I could not look in a mirror at the end of my drinking. I was too full of shame and despair to tolerate looking at my dead empty eyes. I grew a long beard and hair and that was unkempt. Not because I was homeless, but I was subconsciously working to have my outside match my insides.

I like who I see in the mirror today.

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The day I decided to stop drinking I took a picture. I look absolutely horrendous, I’ve shown it to a few friends and they all said it doesn’t even look like me. My face is all swollen and puffy, almost like I had an allergic reaction to something. I guess I did really considering I had just finished my last binge. I look poisoned its really sad… but I’m glad I have it so I can look back on it, not only do I have the memories of what I wanted to leave behind but an actual visual reminder too.
Once I get to my 1 year anniversary I plan on posting it as before and after, even now at almost 90 days the difference is crazy.
I’m embarrassed at the state I was in but it’s good to see how far I’ve come too.

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I have one photo in particular that I save to look at when I think,‘I can have just one’. I’m absolutely shit faced, bloated, boobs nearly hanging out, red wine black mouth and I have my arm around my niece in law… it’s horrible! I looked dead behind the eyes, probably because I was. The difference in me 610 days on is night and day :pray:t2::two_hearts:

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Old photos? Heck, I cant believe what I see in them a ran down, depressed old man. When I got sober, I realized I never looked at my face in the mirror. Now when I do…I still see an old man, but a happy one, loving life.

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I have a photo of me towards the end of my drinking days. Reminds me of how unhealthy alcohol made me and crazy. In the picture my head is completely shaved, skin dark yellow, eyes look like someone who’s been to hell. First thing people tell me now, is that I look great.

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I guess what I think I’m seeing is similar differences to what you wonderful people are describing. My face and skin tone are totally different. I think the main difference I notice is in the eyes. When I look at old photos my skin is almost grey and my eyes look vacant. Now it’s almost like a primal or feral kind of fire in the eyes. I think I spent too many years looking dead, so the new primal looking me is unrecognizable. I think it’s a good thing, and something positive to adjust to seeing. Thank you all for your amazing replies.

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same sister :joy: :heart_eyes:

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Love this :heart: @claire-lo & @Donut89

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Honestly? It wasn’t until many months sober I realized I’d avoided looking at myself in the mirror for years. That subconscious shame.

At some point in working my recovery that changed. For the first time I looked myself in the eye again and had found peace.

I did recently find a very rare picture of me just before getting sober though, and holy s—. Yeah, looking a LOT better these days, lol.

The blotchy, bloated skin. The red, tired eyes. The double chin (ha). All gone for clear, firm skin and bright eyes!

It’s one of the reasons I love checking the selfie thread now and then. It’s amazing to see that physical transformation.

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