Ok guys I’ve been Realy sinking here lately,my fiance has tried leaving me several times because the drinking,I love her but when I’m drinking I want her too go away and leave me alone but yet I wake up missing her,I have no control over it anymore even when things are going good I screw it up and I don’t know why. Just would like some feedback,God knows I want too change so bad
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Are you ready to really quit? I just read some of your posts; you’ve been around awhile. I don’t know what it’s going to take for it to sink in; you can’t pick up the first drink.
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It seems that you have been a member of this place for coming on 3 years but have actually spent very little time reading and engaging,I would suggest stepping that up, this place is full of advise, tips and tricks to get and stay sober. Maybe give some of the online meetings that are happening during this virus a try. I wish you well. 
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What are you willing to do? Sobriety is really hard and you have to be willing to get out of your comfort zone and try everything. You have to dig deep if you want this. How about starting meetings? I know the in person ones are closed right now but they have a ton online. I’ve been using intherooms.com and it’s been helping for now. You don’t have to share or show your face, just sit in and listen. Wishing you the best.
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I don’t have to say anything.
These guys have it covered!
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Sounds like rehab might be the only thing that will help at this point.
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Then change. The only thing stopping you, is you. Decide to be better, and then be better. How much are you willing to sacrifice on the alter of your addiction?
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My line when I was using was I HAD GOOD INTENSIONS and yes I did but the problem was I wasn’t willing to follow them thru so they forever for many years just stayed that good intentions,you say you really want this get that thought outta ya head then and out in the open make it a reality in the here and now otherwise I fear this could carry on for you for another 3/6)9 years make that leap of faith my friend face that fear 
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