Up and down week

So this week was a roller coaster emotion for me and not once did I consider picking up. As the saying goes, we don’t use no matter what.

The week started great last Friday when I got the call from ACR Health to schedule an interview the same day I sent in my resume. This job is something I’ve been dreaming about for a long time, but never thought would become a reality. Just to have the opportunity to be interviewed was a blessing. My Saturday and Sunday we’re great as the meetings I attended were particularly uplifting. Things were going as well as they have in years for me. In my previous attempts at recovery this probably would have led to a relapse. One of my biggest defects is thinking that I got this. Thankfully I have a program in my life that reminds me daily that I am an addict and alcoholic. I celebrated my blessings by sharing them with others in the rooms.

Then I was brought back to earth with the death of my friend on Tuesday. He died as a result of active addiction. He was 31 years old. I’m not going to lie, I was angry. I was angry at the disease. Angry that he just couldn’t find the help he needed. Angry that he bought into the bullshit that weed is harmless for addicts. And I was angry that people continue to push for that as a solution. Normally my grieving process would have been to get blind drunk and fight the first person who looked at me wrong. But again, I never thought about picking up. I called my sponsor and went to a meeting. I brought up the topic no matter what and everyone in that room had been through the same thing and they didn’t drink. I got some old school AA that night and it really helped. I took some time to meditate and pray and then I moved on, because that’s what we have to do.

Wednesday wasn’t much better as I worked 12.5 hours and didn’t hit a meeting for the first time since December 12, 2017. At first I was terrified that by missing a meeting I would be dead by morning. I called another addict and talked about it. Turns out I was being overly dramatic. I wasn’t putting any faith in my recovery or my higher power. I turned my will over and found that I will survive a missed a day. I just won’t make it a habit. Again, I wasn’t thinking about drinking or drugging.

The week didn’t end bad however. On Thursday I got good news from the girl I’m seeing about her visit in June. Then today I nailed the interview and picked up my 6 month chip at my regular AA group.

None of this, the good and the bad, would be possible if I were using or drinking. And not drinking and drugging would not be possible, for me, without the rooms! Good, bad, or ugly we don’t use one day at a time. I hope someone struggling reads this and realizes nothing is worth a drink or a drug today.
This week marked the highest point and lowest point in my recovery. Life goes on just as it always does. The only difference is that now I can face it without needing or wanting to messed up.

Special shout out to @Gabe.G and @C-sun for their extra special blessings of today.

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Thank you so much for sharing. <3

That’s an amazing share man.

Thank you.

Congratulations on your 6 months chip. Its a great milestone.

Wow what a week! You are strong. The hard work is paying off.

Congrats on your 6th months Brother. And I’m sorry for your loss man. That shit never gets any easier. I understand your anger as I have lost more people than I care to count to this disease. I fucking hate it.

I haven’t been to a meeting since Sunday bro! Fucking Sunday! It’s a strange feeling cuz I know I’ve needed one every day this week. I jus truly haven’t had the time. Lol. Not in a bullshit way either. I HAD to finish this job before the baby came. A God and Ryder blessed me by giving me till wedsday. So I worked 12 hours a day all week then came home to help my poor pregnant AF wifey.

But I did what you did every day. I talked to other alcoholics in the program at least once a day. I prayed and meditated every morning. I worked on my recovery outside of the meetings. Because in reality, a meeting is only an hour. There’s 23 hours left in that day where we are out in the world. That’s where our Higher Power and our fellowship comes in. That’s where we ask these for help and guidance from them.

Thanks for sharing man

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Wow…what a share…and you did the exact right thing with having faith in the program and giving up on your own will…It is truly inspiring to read a post like this. About a year back I remember hearing a sad story and it ended up with “But I still didn’t have to drink” I’ve remembered this message through my rough times…that no matter what comes…it’s still not worth the drink…Thanks for reminding me of that today.

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We call it “the No Matter What Club”. No matter what happens, we won’t drink. Just saying it like that has helped me through some tough times. I won’t drink today, no matter what!

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Good Lord. Even at almost 6 months sober I was an emotional wreck apparently.

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I actually find that encouraging :+1:

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I was allowing myself to get to high and low. Not great for sobriety. I was still on medication for my Bi-polar at the time. I still hadn’t adjusted to the ebb and flow of everyday life.

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Six months is still early on…you were doing fine. And as we know, it takes time for our body and mind to heal and to no longer be racing about looking for that chaos we found so familiar in our daily life…that all or nothing thinking.

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I like looking back and just seeing what was going on in my life. I was about a month in to my sober living house so I was riding all sorts of high until my friend died. Then I was angry and restless.

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I like that about Facebook as well, seeing the memories from the past…where I was, the road to today. The happy times and the sad times…real life.