UPB’s - Unknown Party Bruises

First, I’d like to say this is somewhat of a gruesome post. I apologize in advance. This place, you all, the rawness & vulnerability of real humans telling real stories… I just have to. This is what makes this whole process so deep & connected & beautiful. So for that, I thank you all.

When I was tending bar UPB’s were a dime a dozen. Regulars & coworkers would come in and literally “show off” their latest bruises, cuts, & any other form of drunken injury they’d unknowingly managed to acquire the night or nights before. They did so with both pride & shame. I’ve seen a LOT. Chest mauled from shoulder to groin jumping over a fence, missing teeth, you name it.

I, age 22, was no stranger to UPB’s. The worst one was a 3rd or 4th degree burn on the inside of my right calf from a motorcycle. I will never forget waking up & having to rip my sheets (how I got home & in my bed is still a mystery) off the burn. I limped for 2 weeks continually ripping, stretching, & reopening the wound so the scar tissue wouldn’t become restrictive.

Today, I look back & think “how could I have been so careless with my body?” My poor leg.

Good news -I can control the amount of UPB’s my body now has to endure & I choose 0. No more. Thank you so much for letting me share. That was a rough memory to deal with.


Broke my nose 3 times in my heavy drinking days (door, staircase, sidewalk – in that order. Last one was worst), among many less significant injuries – not to mention the numerous “near misses”. I reset my own nose all 3 times, ended up getting surgery a few years ago because my breathing was so messed up.

I sure as heck don’t miss waking up with random injuries of uncertain origin. Feels good to wake up in one piece most days.


At the ripe old age of 15, my friend and I decided to kidnap our grounded friend from her house. When we got there, the Mom came driving down the driveway and we jumped into a “ditch”, but just in front of the ditch was barbed wire. It caught my leg behind the knee and ripped it up the back to nearly the buttock.

I didn’t want to tell my Dad that we’d been out, so I just poured straight rubbing alcohol on it, every couple of hours, to keep from infection. That scar is still pretty evident.


I only had one. Was walking (ok…stumbling) through a darkened living room, tried to avoid stepping on a Jack Russell who was always under foot, slipped and landed on this bench we had. It was solid. Iron and wood, like a park bench, except sized for a child. Hit me right in the thigh. Next day, I surveyed the damage: Bruise the color of merlot. Hugely swollen.

I train in Muay Thai and Krav Maga. I get kicked and kneed in the thighs all the time, and these bruises don’t compare to that UPB.


I have scars on my hand from where I put my fist through a bar window. From what I was told, it was one hell if a bar fight and I was “handling buisness” up until that point.


Bruises under my arms were my most common. Usually where someone tried to pick me up off of the floor or hold me upright :see_no_evil: cracked the back of my head open twice, once on a wall. Fell face first on the pavement and took all the skin off my face. Cut all my back climbing through an upstairs window via a flat roof (still got the scars) after my partner had locked me out. The list goes on!! So thankful I have finally got sober :grin:


The glory days… not really. Broke my collarbone falling out of our nissan armada after the wife had to pick me and her boss up from a bar we just got tossed from. Her boss had a $250 gift certificate and we still spent more. My wife was unimpressed with our drunkenness. I also have scars on my leg where i fell thru a metal barstool while standing on it. I have pics of that one somewhere on my phone. My wife who is a normy “can drink one drink and be done” has dealt with my drunken shenanigans for 15 years of our marriage. Im not sure why or how she has stayed with me but she likes this new 611 day sober guy. I love her. Safety first sober friends!

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Thank you for sharing your experience. As someone who has woken with their fair share of mysterious abrations, contusions and laserations I can empathize. I wish you all the best on your path.

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