Hubby came home from his night out and didn’t come and say hello (I was already in bed) and is sleeping on the sofa for the second time in a row 
my sponsor says she thinks he is stepping up his punishment regime - when I asked him why he hadn’t come to bed yesterday he said ‘how many times did you sleep on the sofa when you were drinking?’ I am scared this is his way of putting more emotional and physical distance between us in preparation for him telling me its over though 
don’t know whether its worth asking him why again or just leave it?
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I don’t really have answers or advice. I hear you and I hate that he’s punishing you. Things that you have done in the past are not an excuse for present mistreatment. He needs to learn to take accountability for his actions instead of blaming his actions on you.
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I’d have to agree with your sponsor. It’s going to take some time, and it sounds like he wants you to know how much you affected him when you were drinking. Don’t give up!
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Thanks both of you, I am so hurt by all his actions and I really don’t think its fair he is behaving like this, yes I hurt him but unknowingly, this is all on purpose and very cruel and childish in my opinion!!
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maybe he is also trying to protect himself. he does not want to show to much positive emotion in case you revert back to your old ways and hurt him. perhaps before you did not give a damn and now that you sober he can show you how you have hurt him. Perhaps you are both rebuilding, you your health/sobriety, him his marriage.
But don’t let these squabbles effect your goal of being sober, the situation would be far worse if you were drunk
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Thanks rod, I think you are right, he hasn’t said much at all but he did say he is scared in case I relapse so he could be putting up barriers in case I do? I am not concerned about my sobriety because through all this I haven’t wanted to drink and I truly believe that because of my program I can remain sober no matter what life throws at me now 
So is he saying that life between yourselves wasn’t good before you became sober?
In which case the assumption would be that he’d now be happy rather than deliberately making it worse.
Or is he saying he’s missing the times when you both drank together?
Which might sound right if he wasn’t trying to punish you for those times.
There’s no obvious logic to this.
My ex cheated on me on a couple of occasions. Each time she changed and became hard, a touch cruel, nothing like the person I knew. I think it was her guilt twisting around into ‘blaming me’ which made her more comfortable.
I sincerely hope this isn’t the case for you, but if possible you really should sit him down and try to find out what’s behind this irrational, illogical behaviour, as it’s doing neither of you any good.
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