I live with Major Depressive Disorder. I realized since stopping my pain medication and alcohol, I was using it to self medicate. It made me sleepy and I could sleep and not face the everyday numbness I feel. Anyone else relate?
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Absolutely…look for a dual diagnosis group they can help with depression and alcohol.
Yes, I can relate. I have severe recurrent MDD, anxiety disorder and an unspecified mood disorder (doesn’t fit bipolar) and premenstrual dysphoric disorder. I have been on multiple meds, multiple intensive therapies of all kinds. I guess I used alcohol to medicate, but to be honest being sober has not improved my conditions. It has helped the rest of my life though! I have been being treated for over 10 years, I am still suicidal monthly but Im dealing. Giving up means death and thats not an option. So onward I go.
Do your best, and then keep doing better. Not giving up on treatment is what Ive found to be most helpful. Its hard! 
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I can totally relate. I used to drink to stop the sharp pains in my chest from anxiety or to get through bouts of depression. That is to say - all the time!
It works like a band aid to to temporarily patch up the problem and keep it out of sight, but makes everything so much worse when I wake up the next day!
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I feel what everyone said so much. I drank to help my anxiety that would physically make me sick, to calm my overworked nerves and numb the intensity of really fucked up situations happening around me that I had no control over. It also helped me go to sleep as I have insomnia… but the quality with drinking is never good. I’m so high strung and my brain moves so fast with different thoughts it’s been pretty intense lately facing some heavy shit straight on. I honestly have been obsessing about working out and going to yoga classes and dieting but it’s working out in my favor so far. I also started drinking coffee again in a while and I’ve noticed I’m eating less during the day which is not good because I’m trying to gain muscle. I’m still suicidal, but the thoughts don’t last as long and I’m grateful for that. I’m still on meds but I wonder if they are helping me. I know I need a therapist again but meetings have been so helpful as a community that I’m just becoming a part of and working out and nature since spring has sprung. I really hope you all find your outlets 
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I don’t have a specific diagnosis but yep…self medication for sure. It’s been my MO all my life to use something to help alleviate bad feelings. I’m sure it started before my pre-teen years even. Though maybe not like I did later.
I’m learning to focus on what those bad feelings are and see if I can do something about them (or just accept that they are what they are) rather than run away from them.
@VSue
Sounds like you’re doing everything right. I’ve been there. Most of my negative feelings are related to fear.