Been preparing to stop drinking for too long now and finally taking the proper steps. As a vegan, my triggers are from the constant existential pain around soldiering on in a vystopian world (see below)
Vystopia : Existential crisis experienced by vegans, arising out of an awareness of the trance-like collusion with a dystopian world. Awareness of the greed, ubiquitous animal exploitation, and speciesism in a modern dystopia.
The constant triggers and, what my brain tells me are “valid” reasons for drinking to cope or numb the constant vystopia. This against, of course, the same excuses, habit and ultimate pointlessness of carrying on drinking hence why im here at this point wanting to be a better me! Bit of a paradox (but one i know the answer to) but thought it was worth a shout out to see if i have any company? Hopeful but not expectant.
Day 1 of seeking new support with the app and first time in any forum
I understand your feelings but if you want to have a happy and healthy life you have to let go. That doesn’t mean just accept the way they are but ultimately understand that you can only do you. You can’t make others change. I have learned that leading by example is the best way to influence others. You can’t allow the actions of others or society in general be a trigger. And ultimately the world is changing at a faster rate than ever before. Yes there is a long way to go but things seem to be progressing at an exponential rate these days.
Hi. Thanks for the explanation, I did wonder what vystopian was. Reads like an essay title, discuss!
Totally see where your coming from, I don’t know how old you are but I used to get upset about things that I felt strongly about, and couldn’t see why other people couldn’t understand. Unfortunately as they say “Rome wasn’t built in a day” and change takes time. If you looked at the stats you would probably see a change happening already. But the way the world is has been so for so long now, it isn’t going to change overnight. As @VSue said you can only lead by your example and hope people see what the difference could be.
With regards to getting sober it’s not going to help getting wound up over things that are ultimately out of your control, even if you wish they were.
Relax and concentrate on the task in hand, getting sober, but still try and do your bit.
You are so right. Im caught between advocating/activism (which i am actually really good at and so feel the animals need me to do it) and letting go and ignoring/not letting it affect me. Letting go seems like im not adding to the change i want to see. Only been a year vegan so tbf i have really reduced the anger levels and developed a middle ground with people…i suppose thats why im now ready to stop drinking. Thanks @VSue
When i speak to some people and witness cognitive dissonance in full flow, it does seem like we are doomed. But i will do me and try to do my bit at the same time. Realisation that i cant do anything else
I would imagine you’re surrounding yourself with people who are like minded, which is great. But can be all consuming if that is their only focus. Which if that works for them, is understandable. But it doesn’t sound like it works for you at the moment since you have an addiction you’re trying to handle.
Find some like minded people in regards to sobriety. There are lots of support groups and you’ll learn coping mechanisms and ways to figure out life without drinking.
Ive made great new friends through my activism and, honestly, if i could do that 24/7 it would make this whole issue a whole lot easier but the 9-5 (and every 9-5) involves dealing with the question at hand.
Youre bang on about support groups but i imagine a lot of them (especially locally in farmer country where i live) wont get the vegan thing which i feel is somewhat linked. This forum is helping thus far, if for nothing else than to splurge
Hi bootz. A lot of what you said are issues i constantly think about. How to remain ethically on the right path and morally consistent (in terms of everything i consume from packaging to driving a car to visiting another country on a plane). You are bang on on terms of the amount of drink i was consuming using up resources to produce ship and recycle but these waters are always muddied and to me (were, not now) justified due to the impact everything else was having and this allowing me to cope with it. Like sometimes when you constantly see people throwing away their packing of processed ham after feeding a tiny bit to their kids and vulnerable adults i often wonder whats the point and take the (stupid) view of 'if you cant beat them".
I think that different approaches work with different people and i take a patient but unapologetic stance to my interactions. My wife and inlaws went vegan around the same time and my mum in laws approach is through cooking activism. My skillset is in compassionate, patient conversation and one of the phrases i use is actually “when we know better we can do better”.
You are so right, access to good education is nion impossible. We are going against what teachers and doctors are being taught as fact and i am a conspiracy theorist for thinking you dont need cows milk for calcium… people are doing the best with what they have and know but they dont WANT to know any different because that means (in their mind) giving up steak, cheese and eggs.
I think we have a few ideological differences on a few things but thank you for taking the time to reply and helping.
Drinking doesnt make the challenges go away- you are absolutely right and this is something i even said a few days ago but then “forgot” in my despair
Growing up during the cold war, we had to live with the idea that at any moment we could learn that we only had minutes to live, and would be reduced to ash carried into the upper atmosphere in a mushroom cloud.
We had constant reminders of this. My elementary school was our neighborhood designated fallout shelter. We had duck and cover drills in school, and every day at noon they tested the air raid sirens. Drove the nieghborhood dogs nuts, and made everyone else note the time. Was it noon? Was this a drill? What if the Soviets chose noon to attack, knowing we’d think it was a drill?
And yet somehow, I managed to have a good childhood. Lots of fun. The 70’s and early 80’s were a great time to be a kid where I lived, even with that whole nuclear winter thing hanging over our heads.
My point is, you’ve decided to live your life according to a set of strong personal beliefs. You see things that are counter to these beliefs, and you are taking personal action to not contribute to these things. Let your light shine, regardless of how small it is. You’ve lit your candle. Stop cursing the darkness, as you cannot end it. Just keep your candle lit.
Definitely making progress in that area. Ive been angry pretty much for ever. Commiting to sobriety is i guess my way of trying to let go of that. Thank you
I’ve been thinking about this thread a lot the last two days since you’ve posted and I do understand where you’re coming from. I just need to mention that not everyone has the privilege to eat in the most mindful way for their bodies and for the Earth. It’s hard to read you are so critical of others trying to feed their children in this increasingly busy society we’ve all created…or feed themselves on a budget. I just hope we can all keep in mind that eating a certain way should be viewed as a personal choice and we must make changes inwardly that reflect our morals first before trying to impose them on others.
My post was less about food, and just more about priorities and privilege. And that’s great (honestly) if that is your priority in life and I appreciate you having the drive to want to make changes.
I really try not to be critical of others “just feeding their children”, more of the societal structures that have conditioned us. I suppose, for me at least, drinking only harms me and that is where real liberal ideological ideas about personal freedom of choice (suicide, right to life, right to death etc) whereas the personal choice of eating an animal that you didnt need to imposes that choice and causes a direct death. Yes i will harm the environment and my health but its the ethics of direct conscious killing i struggle with. I dont think you need to be privilidged to eat a certain way and yes definitely inward change is necessary from me but this brings me back to my original post - its sort of a paradox. Priorities should always be on causing the least amount of harm possible and thats so so easy to do no matter what your level of privilidge.
