34 days sober and I’m heading to Vegas today. Can I do this? Do I want to do this? Any advice would be helpful.
Your second question will determine the outcome. Is it possible yes. But it’s on you. Hopefully you have a relapse prevention plan in place
I just wonder if i will have a good time. Vegas is fueled with alcohol. It scares me. I intend to get mock-tails and non alcoholic beer if the cravings get to bad. My relapse plan is just to start over…if I need to. Forgive myself and move on. I have been so stressed thinking about this. It’s making me crazy
Vegas would be a challenge for any of us. I would like to think you should have fun there. It’s a cool city. And the reason we see it as alcohol fueled is because that’s what we want it to be. There’s a lot to do in Vegas and not one of those requires us to be drunk to do. Honestly I’m not sure your relapse prevention is what you deserve but it’s yours not mine. I hope you enjoy your trip.
On my way to the airport as we speak. I am going to do and see everything. I know I don’t have to drink. I’m going to do my best.
Vegas has so many great restaurants! Make it about the food!
You weren’t kidding aboit the food! Wow! The best place i went was Gordon Ramsay’s Burger restaurant . It was amazing. Absolutely delicious. I was drinking though so the end of the night is a little blurry I’m so disappointed in myself. But i made a decision to drink. So no crying about it now.
I apologise in advance if I sound harsh, but your plan does not sound strong enough to me.
I know what you are going through with this challenge as my job involves a lot of social situations where alcohol flows like water. A solid plan is needed or it is easy to fall victim to our addiction.
Here are some things that have worked for me:
- Lie - say you are on a diet or on anti biotics and can’t drink.
- Know in advance what you will order.
- Dont look at the drink menu
- Dont sit at the bar
- If you can avoid the bar and do something else, choose the latter.
- Come back to this app throughout the day.
If you do fall off and order a drink, don’t let it be 5 drinks later before you shake yourself off and get back up. We have all slipped up, but it does not have to be a complete blackout drunk session before we realise what we are doing and re-assert ourselves.
My plan was not good enough. I was with good friends so the diet and antibiotic thing would not have worked. These same friends are high rollers / 7 star members who get into all total rewards clubs and drink and eat for free. They got us in too. My willpower was just not strong enough. It was not a total drunk fest. When we were not with them I didn’t drink. And when we were together I only had a couple (only at night) and was in control except for that one night. Believe me i paid for it the next day. I felt like crap and stained my white shirt, jacket and sneakers with red wine. Very classy.
But calling Vegas a social situation is like calling a tumor a pimple. I was not prepared. EVERYONE is drinking. Walking up and down the sidewalk with alcohol. Outside! I didn’t even know that was legal. It isn’t in New Jersey. Everywhere we went they were handing us ads for 2 for 1 drinks and bars that you just had to go to.
What I should have done was be honest with my friends. I think they would have understood. Drinking is very important to them so who knows.
I was not strong enough for this trip. Maybe I didn’t want it bad enough.
Nobody thinks you don’t want it bad enough. It’s more about are you ready and willing to change. You have to radically transform your life and we know that is uncomfortable. When the pain of continuing what your doing is more than the fear of change you will see this so differently. And yes Vegas is a town made for vices. I have not been since I found recovery. I’ll tell you in active addiction that city was FUN. I’m pretty sure I could have fun there still but I’d have to work my ass off to stay sober. Not a person on this board should make you feel like you don’t want this. We all get that the struggle is real. Be blessed. Put one foot in front of the other and move forward
I think you’re right about radically transforming my life. I Love my life. My family and friends are so important to me. I want my life to stay exactly the same…minus the alcohol. I’m learning…slowly…that it doesn’t work that way. I’m so afraid that I will never have fun again. It sounds ridiculous even to me. Just before this relapse I was sober over a month. In that time I got comments like - Are you alright? What’s wrong? Are you upset about something? Why are you so quiet? And the best straight to the point …why are u not drinking?
It made me think that i was right. I would never have fun again. Or at least not the same kind of fun. Drinking makes me a different person. More out going and fun. But sometimes I don’t like the person I become. I want to run away and go where nobody knows me. I can be whoever I want, no questions.
Sorry for ranting. Thanks for the advice and for listening.