Very first AA meeting

I went to my first AA meeting tonight and was disappointed. No one reached out very much to me. I didn’t feel very welcomed. One lady offered to be my sponsor but I don’t feel connected to her at all. I think I’ll try another location in my town. Any advice?

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Not all meetings are created equal!
I’ve been to ones I hated that made me question whether I wanted to go at all, and then others that reassured me I was in the right place, felt understood and so hopeful for the future!
Don’t give up! Keep trying different ones. If you like what someone shares approach them afterwards and tell them you liked what they said and ask for their number. Then follow through and text them, and they can hopefully direct you to more solid meetings and other really solid people.
Don’t get discouraged! :heart:

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People were not so welcoming to me either, for reasons that I didn’t know at the time. Don’t take it personally. Some people don’t want to overwhelm a newcomer. And for me, I learned after the fact that I looked so rough and recoiled and gave a death stare anytime anyone looked my way that people just let me be to open up in my own time.

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At first I just showed up and left and never really wanted to talk to anyone, but then I realized how lonely I felt and it was making me depressed so I put more effort in and got many numbers. Some of these people are becoming my best friends now.
I still get numbers, I still listen to people share, I still get annoyed sometimes with people and meetings but I still keep coming back.

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I felt most comfortable when I found a women’s meeting on Friday afternoons. I highly suggest it! Also, there is an iPhone ap to find meetings in your area. Don’t get discouraged and hang in there. :butterfly:

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Keep coming back. Try different meetings at different times. In my area, the early morning meetings are my favorite. :two_hearts::bird:

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Keep trying different meetings. Sometimes try the same meeting more than once. They may have been trying to be respeyand let you be until you felt more comfortable. Or it may have just been a bad meeting. Not all meetings are the same or are for all people.

Can I ask what kind of meeting it was?

I’ve been to 3 different types of meetings. The open speaker meeting tends to leave people alone. There are of course the old-timers that are all friends with each other but for new people they will welcome them and then let them be unless they engage back. (I tend to be ultra introverted and shy so I’ve pretty much been left alone). At my closed discussion meeting there is much more interaction but they tend to really stay on the week’s topic and don’t get really personal in their shares. And since we discuss the first 3 steps over and over and over (each month the first week is step 1, the second week is step 2, the third week is step 3 and the 4th week is one of the traditions) I hear the same shares over and over too. Mostly about God and Higher Power. LOL I’ve also been to a women’s only meeting. That one was great in that they really shared what was going on with themselves that very week even if it was not related to the step being discussed. They also had separate discussions with the old-timers on the later steps (so they could grow past the first 3 steps) and as soon as it was over I had 5 woment come straight over to me and talk to me. One tried to give me her number but I told her I wasn’t ready. Sadly, while that women’s only meeting was great and inclusive the introvert, shy person in me really struggled with it…I never went back. That, and there was a woman from my childhood there…I didn’t think I could open up knowing she knew who I was.

Anyways…my point is to keep trying until you find the meeting you like. And if you never find the meeting you like there are lots of other types of meetings out there. Recovery is bigger than we think it is.

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Meetings can be like buying shoes. Sometimes you try a pair on while you love the way they look and the price, they’re just plain old uncomfortable and have no support. Do you just buy that pair? Hell no, it’s a shoe store and they have hundreds of offerings, just like meetings.

Like others suggested, try other meetings, they aren’t 1 size fits all in my experience. You also need the 3 keys for any meeting to be a success. 1.Open mindedness 2. Honesty and 3. Willingness. Meetings will never work without all 3 ideals lined up.

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How is it called?

Try another meeting might help , wish you well

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The app I’ve used is Pink Cloud…but it isn’t always accurate. I went to a meeting 30 minutes late because the entry in the app was wrong.

AA meetings are also listed online. I think you can find your local AA website from the main one. aa.org. But I’ve just googled “aa meetings in XYZ” and it sends you to the right page.

Thank you in germany I havent found that much i Hope that app can help

Keep trying other meetings until you find the one that feels the best. When you find it go to that meeting as often as you possibly can. Make it your home group. You will find the support your looking for, and make awesome friendships! Don’t give up.

My head constantly thinks of ways that AA sucks. And how it won’t help me. But it has helped me.

It’s my alcoholism trying to keep me vulnerable. I need all the support I can get!

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