About 3 weeks ago my son left the house for 4 days and ended up ODing on Xanax. The only reason that he didn’t die was because he called my husband to pick him up. As the police was arresting him (had a warrant for violating probation), he slapped something out of my daughter’s hand and got a charge for domestic abuse. He went to JDC who took him to the local hospital and he was unresponsive. The meds given to reverse the xanax caused his heart rate to bounce all over the place. He was then airlifted to a children’s hospital. He was released and was supposed to go to JDC and then boot camp. As we were almost there, his PO called and said there was a bed in a local, lock down children’s shelter where he had stayed before. He will be staying there until a treatment bed in the same facility opens up. Luckily, it is only one out three rehabs in our state that only treats teenagers. And, while he is in the shelter he is receiving counseling.
I did talk to him and plan to see him on Tuesday. I asked him if he realized now that he has a problem and he said not necessarily. Also the judge said after treatment he will need to go to Job Corps (a person can’t be ordered to go and it’s voluntary). He wants to stay in the area and go back to school. I told him that we could move somewhere else and he said no. We just want to give him all the chances possible to beat addiction. But, if he still doesn’t think he has a problem that’s a problem but I am hoping treatment will help him (it’s a 12 step based treatment).
Anyways, I want to take him letters and cards from myself and family (I’m even thinking about asking my coworkers since they know the situation and have been very supportive and many have fought addiction themselves). My question, what would be best to write to him? What shouldn’t I say? I don’t want to discourage him but also not act everything is okay.
Should I ask my coworkers and friends to write something in a card (if they want) just to show him he has tons of people some that he doesn’t even know fighting for him. Or would this be strange?
Any advice would be great! We love him and want him healthy and happy and content.
Tell him you’ve got his back no matter what and that you’ll be there for him as long as he’s willing to cooperate with the program
Wow, this is a tough one. I think just be honest with him in your letters. That you love him and think he deserves better than what he’s been putting himself through. I see no problem with sending him supportive notes from all resources you have. Only downside…don’t expect any certain response or reaction to your kindness and support. Unfortunately he can’t be forced into being ready.
That you love him. And that you always will.
Be real with him about your feelings and the severity of the situation. But do it from a place of understanding and free of judgment. Let him know what he means to you and how you’ll always be there for him.
I can’t imagine the pain of watching your baby go through something like this. I’m thinking about him but also about you and your strength through all of this.