As somebody who wants to be sober I’m learning that I need to understand how people treat me now. Because of the actions I have done while I’ve been drunk. It’s a hard lesson for me to learn that my feelings don’t always matter and I don’t mean that in a negative way I mean I’ve hurt these people so bad how could they respect me and how could they listen to me how could they believe me. But then I find myself feeling sorry for myself because their actions are hurting me but the reason they’re doing their actions is because the actions I’ve done to them. I had to pull myself together and realize I’ve caused these people in my life to treat me this way because of the way I have lived in my life.
I think that this kind of self realization is just as important as how many sober days we collect when it comes to success with long term sobriety
Yeah, its a hard pill to swallow but necessary for long term sobriety. Most of them will eventually warm up to you but only after they see that you have seriously changed your life. It also helps to make amends after that. Some may never totally forgive you but thats just life. Don’t spend too much time thinking about the past either,focus on the here and now and enjoying life sober. Sober is soooo much better! And I can actually remember stuff now!! I used to actually write stuff down talking to friends or family members half loaded on the phone because I knew I would forget everything the following day! Insanity!! Best wishes on your sobriety, have you considered meetings?
I used to go the same thing
You can deal with this by going to AA, getting a sponsor and working the twelve steps.
As Pants says try a meeting wish you well
I am doing okay. Just wanted to vent about my feelings.
This kind of understanding and realization is key to sobriety and recovery. Like, THE key. I commend you for getting it! So many people get so hurt because, as addicts (or humans) we want things now. NOW! I see so many people get worked up about not getting the support or positive attention they want, and it causes unnecessary stress which often leads to going back out. This is obviously a terrible cycle, one that doesn’t lead to anywhere good.
We have not been ourselves for a long time. We lied, we cheated, we stole. We’ve said we would get better a million times, that we would change. We didn’t. We’ve made promises big and small, and broken most (if not all) of them. We cannot expect people to jump because we asked them to. We’ve made them jump for too long with zero reward. Now it’s our turn to jump!
That last paragraph wasn’t aimed at you, @Alicia1, just something I sometimes need to put out there into the ether of the recovery interwebs. Keep up the good, strong work!
Hi, well done for sharing this with us. It is, I think, that this is part of the sober journey. It’s a very important part. The people that love you will see over time that you are changing and time will heal. Anyone else that still has a problem with the past will probably melt away. It sounds like you’re processing the way you have been and the things you have done because of your addiction. Give it time, be gentle with yourself and anyone that matters will enjoy seeing you grow on the road to sobriety. Thanks for reaching out hun x
Totally agree with this