Wanting to give up

no my boyfriend just broke up with me and I want to use really bad , walking back and forth at work and all I can think about is using. I even started to text my dealer

Put that phone away!!

Think it through. Really, what will using do to help you? Even if it helped you forget for a while the breakup will still be there when you come down. That only delays the pain

If you just get through now you’ll be past it all sooner than you think.

You can do it.

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I had dealt with a break up during my first few months. It was very hard not to drink but once I thought about how I didnt want to let some asshole ruin what iv been working so hard for, it was a bit easier. You won’t be proving anything to him if you use.

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Everytime I try to quit I always fail and this time I know for a fact I want to stay clean. I texted my dealer and I already feel guilty as it is I just don’t want temptation to get the best of me but unfortunately right now my body just was to just give up and just use until I can forget. I’m trying to stay strong and not break down and tell myself that I don’t need anything to calm me down but this process of staying clean is so hard.

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I’m not one to give advice in this situation, but I’ve used so many times and used the excuse of my girlfriend breaking up with me, or she did it said something to make me think she cheated. The truth is, she was always honest with me. I used every chance I got, and now, she’s gone and I’ll never get her back.
Please try your best to stay strong and work through this break up.
Good luck to you and always look to a friend to talk to if you can. I never followed my advice, but I wish I had. She was the best thing that ever happened to me and I lost her and everything that made me happy.

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I had seen a remark on here that the urge can be like a crest in the ocean. You really have to ride it out.

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I’m trying my best , I feel it in my chest , and my anxiety is up high , bad mood swings , relapsing is winning at this point . These are demons I guess we all have to stand up to .

I’m right there with you. I think about relapsing every single day, but the idiot in me, still thinks I might have a chance at getting my girlfriend back if I stay sober. But I know I can’t get her back, so, at this point, I need to do this for myself. Maybe once I’m ready, I can try to meet someone new. It wouldn’t be fair to any woman I meet right now. I’d be comparing anyone to her, I need to be right in my mind and not thinking about her anymore. Truth is, I’m going through 2 serious withdrawals, one for pills and one for her, I don’t know which one I’ll be free of first. After 6 days off no pills, it’s starting to get easier, but thinking about her keeps getting harder

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What is relapsing going to achieve? Where might it end up? Do you really want to go down that path?

You know it’s not going to be pretty and tomorrow will be full of regret, shame, guilt, withdrawal or worse, using even more.

Delete your dealers number, delete their reply if it comes through, take control of your life listen to the inner you, the real you, not the addict, you’ll be so much happier and even though you might not feel that way right now you know it’s the right thing to do. Give yourself a chance.

Stay strong.

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Of course you want to use to numb the feelings @Jashey_Aleman …you’re an addict, that what we do. If you really want to stay clean…delete your dealers number then block it if they respond. Get yourself to an NA or AA meeting where you’ll be safe and can get out of your head. The monster will win only if you let it. Your body’s response to these thoughts that you’re having is a panic attack. Red flags that your sober side is fighting your addict side. Take several slow in and out breaths and walk through these feelings without justifying using.

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The Pacifica app has some good breathing and meditation sessions to use.

Hey. I know this is not the same but there are alot if great books about breakups that are really funny and lifting. When I was broken up with after a binge I read read and read these books, it’s amazing how distracting they were and made me realise how I could do this. Actually the break up ended up being the best thing for me at the time.

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Two Books thats helped me
It’s called a breakup because it’s broken
He’s just not that into you

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Emsy,

When I was in Jr high and high school I was bullied. I am almost 38 now. At that age kids do not have the capacity to understand what words and hate do to people. As they grow, they learn with experience. Something I wish someone would have told me. I was not athletic and I hung out with the stoners. But then, they were really not “friends” and I had a really tough time in school…and ultimately I quit. You sound so smart for your age. Who can write like that at 14? Barely anyone! You need to focus on that. I know right now you said its hard because of the depression but you have to find a way. Like where is you Mom or Dad? Can they take you for some new writing materials?

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