I’m young I’m 22. I have always had alcohol in my life since I was young. It ruined my childhood, my parents were alcoholics. My fathers body was destroyed by it and he passed away this year. I started drinking when I was 14. I realized it was a problem about a year ago. I lost my car and my job after my father passed. I don’t feel I can do it sometimes. I think okay I’ll be sober, especially after a real hangover I tell myself I will be better then the same evening I drink again. I can’t seem to believe that it’s so hard for me. That I can’t go two days without drinking anymore. I was supposed to stop drinking for a medicine I was given and I couldn’t do it. I still never took the medicine because I can’t stop long enough. I know how bad drinking is. I have seen the lives it ruins over and over again. I feel like it shouldn’t be so hard for me… and I feel guilty when I can’t stop. I feel like I’m a failure, or I know I am. I know I want to change and I can’t seem to stop and it’s so frustrating… I just really needed to vent… I reset my sober clock every day and I hate it. I know I could be more than I let myself and I know I’m not the only one
Have you tried a meeting?
I started an IOP program 4 weeks ago. It has been extremely helpful for me. It is a very structured way to learn about addictions and what is driving your behaviors. Most importantly it help you with the triggers how to react to them. I think it is something you may want to at least look into. I too started drinking at 14 and have finally made a concious decision to quit at the ripe age of 36. It’s a progressive disease that will eat you alive. However, better now than never! 
I totally get how you are feeling, trapped and finding it hard to escape. I wish I’d stopped drinking at your age but I went 20 more years. Don’t wait, you have so much to gain by getting sober! Look into a program or talk to your doctor. Willpower on your own is sometimes not enough. Lots of people here do SMART recovery or AA (I started AA 5 weeks ago because I realized I couldn’t stop on my own), or an IOP.
Whatever path you choose, have faith, there is a way out.
Maybe ameeting might help not for everyone but cant do no harm, its like putting you hand in the fire youd think that wouldnt happen again but sometimes we just put it in again just to see if it wasnt as bad , Think of the things youve lost through drink > wish you well
I also did an IOP program and it was a life changer. They are all different from one another but from what I hear most are good. I’ve also recently got the SMART Recovery Handbook and am looking into online meetings while I wait for them to start a meeting in my city (apparently they are really close). I’m a little over 8 months clean and I know I need more structured support.
Just remember, you can try one way, then change to another at any time. But trying anything will help.
Alcoholism does not discriminate! Doesnt matter how old or young you are, doesn’t matter… So have you really accepted that you are an alcoholic? Accepting and knowing are 2 different things. I can know something but not accept it for what it really is… have you tried any meetings? What exactly are you doing to not take that first drink everyday? For me, it takes more work than just telling myself, dont drink today. And like they say, you get out of sobriety, what you put in.
For me i read a daily meditation, i pray, i talk to other alcoholics, i have a sponsor and support group, i see a therapist once a month, i go to AA Meetings, i work the 12 Steps of AA, i do all these things to stay sober. Im not saying you have to do all of those or anything, im just giving you an example thats its more than just willpower and saying, dont drink today. So do something different! I would def suggest a meeting though! And see, i can only make the suggestions, its up to you to do them… Left to my own devices, i will drink, plain and simple. What will you do today for your sobriety?
I have never went to meetings before i don’t know what iop is? I don’t have transportation so it’s hard to get myself to do anything. Some days I just say yeah I’ll get better and never really make a plan.
I once went a month without drinking or maybe a little more. I know I felt good, I was going to the gym and I would read. Then my father passed away and I just lost it all. The motivations my job my car and I haven’t been able to get to a good spot since.
What is iop? I know that I need to do something different. I know I want to. It’s so hard to say no. I have nothing else occupying my time and I feel lonely.
Thank you. I have never wanted to go to meetings. I always hope I can do it alone but maybe I just can’t and I do need help.
I have never tried a meeting. I would consider it. I like to think I could just have self control. But I guess I can’t
IOP is an outpatient program usually through a hospital or rehab facility.
Look up AA meetings in your area if you are interested, maybe there is one close to you. Just depends how badly you want to get help, find a way to make it happen!
Give something new a try for a good long enough while. If it’s meetings, people often say 90 meetings in 90 days. It isn’t a magic prescription, but is a good example of giving something a long try.
Try isn’t even the right word but my point is: take a new approach and do not decide within a day or two or even a week that it isn’t for you. Sounds like you’ve given alcohol a pretty long try, so give whatever solution you choose time too!
Do something different go to a meeting
Maybe some strong counseling to help you with the drinking and why your drinking
Read the book “This Naked Mind”. Extremely well written; it looks at our alcohol and our relationship with alcohol…and changing it forever.
I’m not a meeting person, Its just not me. I found this book very effective. It makes you think.
Highly recommended
I hope you find some serenety soon… reading stories like this makes me feel that pain again of hopelessness and dispair and myself as well as loads of people here can relate to your feelings. Some people will recommend meetings, some people will recommend books and some will reccomend professional help like an addictions counselor or detox or IOP. What matters most is that you want to give sobriety a solid shot. If you really want it, you will make the efforts to get the sobriety ball rolling. Myself I had to go through detox in order to get my first few days sober, then I went to loads of different meetings until I found the right ones for me. People at the meetings will for sure give you rides if you don’t always have a way of transportation.