Warning signs


#1

At what point do you know it’s time to remove booze from your life? I don’t consider myself to be an alcoholic, instead hiding behind what can only be described as a high functioning dependency.

I don’t drink to excess or drink irresponsibly… But… I can’t remember the last day I went without drinking. I instinctively pour a drink when I get home (and continue to drink until bed) and definitely drink more often than my friends and colleagues. But if you told me not to drink for a month (Dry January for example), forget it…

Cutting back never lasts long… is this a major problem? Do I need help, am I hiding behind the fact I can function well


#2

well, i think it’s your call to say what is/isn’t a major problem in your life. comparing yourself to others “not as bad as them” or “worse than them” doesn’t really serve anyone well in my opinion.

something i’ve heard that makes a lot of sense i think is “people that don’t have drinking problems don’t question if they have a drinking problem. it’s just not on their radar, it doesn’t apply to them.”

best to you: )


#3

Well… you don’t need any label to think you need to quit. I guess, the most important question you need to ask is your drinking habits preventing you from living the life you want?

I would say, based on how you explained your situation that you should take control now, or it will eventually cause problems.

Let’s just go with this. You have mentally created an hibutual drinking habits, that can only be changed by removing alcohol out of your lifestyle. What your going to do about it is up to you, but you will need to address it. Welcome to the forums.


#4

#5

Doesn’t matter where the bar is set. It’s causing you concern. Have you always drank this way, or do you find it getting progressively worse, albeit slowly? The reason I ask is that you described my drinking habits, as they were 10 years ago…and yet here I am, a recovering alcoholic, 340 days sober.

I was a "responsible drinker’. Never had any run ins with the law, or lost a job, or a marriage or made a spectacle of myself in public.

And I was a responsible alcoholic too.


#6

At what point? When you join a sober app.


#7

Very fair point…


#8

Thanks for the insights, really appreciate you taking the time. You make some good points


#9

Congrats on being 340 days sober!!! Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experience.


#10

Go to youtube and search “quit drinking”. The results will be many vloggers, who drink like you, not alcoholics, but maybe problem drinkers. They talk about why they quit and the benefits of quitting. Even if you don’t have a problem, there are great benefits to quitting.


#11

As many have said already only you can decide if alcohol is a problem.

One of the big tipping points for me was when I realized that my thoughts were mostly consumed with drinking.
If I was drinking regularly I was thinking about when I would get off work and what I was going to drink. Where I was going to buy it.

If I was trying not to drink all I could think of is how long I wasnt going to drink. Or the next time I did drink what rules would I put in place to moderate my drinking.

Im 120 some odd days sober and feel free now. Because drinking is no longer an option in my mind I dont think about it hardly at all. I have fleeting moments when seeing beer ads or seeing others drink but everytime those thoughts come and I do not drink it strengthens my resolve to know I made the right decision.


#12

Only you can answer that question. I think the fact that you are here asking the question stands to be noted, and there are lots of guides online that can help you determine it from a left-brained perspective. Here’s a couple:

www.drinkerscheckup.com (the short survey/questionnaire is free)
and
https://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/dsmfactsheet/dsmfact.htm

I used to describe myself exactly the same - high functioning dependent. At some point I started I became aware that ‘high functioning’ started to become simply ‘functioning.’ And it didn’t show any signs of reversal, and that scared me. Looking back at it, I was much lower functioning that what I deluded myself to be. I literally had no idea what it was like to be completely alcohol free, or I had forgotten (the only long stretch I had was when I was pregnant 16+ years ago). At the end of the day, you have to ask yourself what it is you want to accomplish in life and what does drinking alcohol do to support that? What I realized was that alcohol was doing absolutely nothing for me, instead was taking way too much from me. It was literally a contradiction to everything else that I was doing that was super ‘clean’ in my life, which kept me from being my authentic self, and it really wasn’t a good feeling.


#13

This is it right here. Yeah I had a job , house, family. Alcohol was not helping me earn the most money to support my family, be the best dad or husband, or be the best version of me.


#14

I relate to everything you’ve stated here.
I was exactly the same way, until about a year ago.
I have no idea how old you are, but I do know that our ability to process alcohol changes throughout our life.
Telling yourself that you’re a good drinker, a responsible drinker is kinda “asking for it”. Eventually, it’ll get the upper hand, ESPECIALLY if you drink daily.
If you insist on drinking, do so with a healthy fear of it. Don’t trick yourself into thinking it’s your friend.
Alcohol will backstab you. Guaranteed.

My two cents.


#15

When starting to think about it. Bc when you do think booze could be a problem it already IS a problem. Drinking until you pass out is another warning and not beeing able to stop for maybe 1 year.


#16

I think we have all done this. I cant remember the amount of times I have told myself that I drink too much. Over the years my wife and I have gone from drinking every night to just weekends then back again every couple of years. 6 years ago I started drinking at work, on the way home from work and at home. Every day. I did have breaks the odd day every now and then. Every night I would say to myself that I wouldn’t drink the next day. But I went straight to the shop on the way to work. I used to get to work late so I could get to the shop when It started to sell alcohol at 8 am. I still functioned at work. I’m a builder. I’ve built a greenhouse from scratch whilst drinking. But last week I realised. No more. Its not been easy, I drive past the shops in the morning and night and that little voice says " go on just the one" but it took me years to realise something was wrong