Maybe generally we’re afraid to give up the vice because we long for the Pharaoh that ruled over us the way the people did in Exodus because the alternative is to worship in the desert until you find the promised land. And you can spend a long time in the desert. Worse yet the Pharaoh is really accessible to some of us that either struggle with alcohol, food, self harm or PMO. I’m paraphrasing what I’ve learned from other people so I can’t take too much credit for the idea but it really, really helps me understand the motivation. Hope it helps.
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I can definitely relate. I am on day 16. I cried my eyes out on day 3 and day 10! I feel like I am grieving giving up alcohol. It was the one thing that was always there to help me numb emotions. But it also was the one thing that was hurting me. I honestly am taking it one day at a time.
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Grief is a good word for it. You will go through varying stages of grief through this journey. Dont run away from the emotions. Acknowledge what you are feeling. Even if you dont have words just cry, yell, hell i went to a smash room early on and that helped.
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I could have written this myself. It’s very true that giving up drinking was like losing my best friend.
Well said man.
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Absolutely. I can very much relate to what ur feeling. Not so much now but for years n years trying to get recovery, I felt this fear and thats what kept me out. I used drugs for 22 years (from a youth to adulthood). I didnt know any other way to cope honestly. Being clean and sober scared me. Feeling emotion scared me. Being in unknown territory with my recovery scared me. But u know what, it does get easier over time. Alot of my coping skills i learned from treatment or from others on here. I gave them a try and figured out which ones worked best for me. Have u tried any techniques that help u cope the best? I think initally recovery is very scary bcuz we often dont know who we are coming into it. Its like having to relearn how to live all over again. Plus with all of our intense emotions coming to the surface, it can be overwhelming. Ur doing amazing work reaching out and staying connected 
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When I first quit, I was sad, I was in mourning. It was like a part of me died. In a way, that was true. I didn’t know who I was without alcohol, and that terrified me. I couldn’t really imagine the rest of my life without it, much less a whole year, month or week. I took it one day at a time. If I could just handle one day, I could get a grip of this addiction. Each day that I was sober I worked on actual coping mechanisms. I also changed the way I saw and thought about alcohol, my process is outlined here Change your Relationship with Alcohol
Eventually, it went from “ugh I can’t have it and that makes me sad” to “Yay! I get to live my best life!”.
Its perfectly normal to be terrified of quitting, because you will no longer have that filter. But it’s ok, life sober is better.
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For years I felt like this so I continued to try everything that would allow me to not give up alcohol forever.
The last year of my drinking became purely medicinal. I wanted desperately to stop, but couldn’t. At that point I both wanted to die but was terrified to. That’s when surrender and acceptance came. I haven’t drank since.
You don’t have to dig as deep as I did before shutting the door on alcohol and opening the other door that provides endless opportunities and beautiful possibilities. One that’s lived one day at a time, free from alcohol. A true gift.
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I am slowly creeping up on day 60. And on day one I was scared to death and one of the biggest was to know I was letting go of a best friend. Still to this day if I try to look ahead it seems to be a struggle for my life. I take my hat off and bow down to anyone trying this on their own. I went thru a treatment facility and am using meds to help me out but my biggest ally is to know I’m not alone and neither or you. We are hear for you praying for you. Also take each moment for what it’s worth. Don’t worry about tomorrow and stay focused in the moment. Good luck, God Speed and welcome to the family.
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Thank you for responses. Yesterday and last night were awful with anxiety today 4 I’m just depressed and feeling lost. I tried an online meeting yesterday and am posting here more than ever. Also, spoke to a counselor yesterday. My parents and boyfriend tell me not to give up, but this is really kicking the shit out of me right now.
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It gets better! Hold tight! Keep posting and reading if thats what you need. For me the first week was the worst but it got progressively better.
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Absolutely I can. It wasn’t so much of not drinking but all the feelings I was going to start feeling after from being sober.
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I was all of the above. I was entering treatment and didn’t know what to expect. I was scared, worried, anxious, lonely, etc…
I spent 6 days straight (no sleep) just thinking (overthinking) about not drinking and what life was going to be like sober. I went into treatment to control my drinking and 28 days later, I left treatment and quit drinking. I have a completely different mindset. I am Meditating, going to meetings 3x a week, reading literature and self-care books, and walking more. I get asked all the time, why did I drink? It wasn’t to cope, it’s just that I liked to drink! It was a just because…I know now…that just because…could harm, hurt, damage, and killed me! I am living and loving this sober life…8 months and 12 days.
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Was i ever, i was terrified! Perfectly normal after youve used alcohol as a crutch for literally everything in life…awful feeling when the security blanket is gone but its only a temporary fix and the problems are always still there and usually made worse via that security blanket so you really only have 2 choices…to spend your life drunk with all that entails and the miserable price it demands or get sober, actually solve problems and have a chance at happiness, it is scary but we can all do it TOGETHER
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I think a lot of us can relate to the grief and fear of change. I recently read Push Off From Here by Laura McKowen and she writes quite a bit about this. You may find her book has some helpful parts for you as well, it did for me.
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Yes. This. I have found in my successful sober times, that being around people and just being social is so hard and exhausting. I tend to think differently, then overthink about how I think differently. Then overthink about how I am overthinking and maybe I am wrong about thinking what I think. And the cycle just goes on an on. Drinking made me not think so much, and it was so nice to not think so much, and suddenly the great chasm I perceive exists between me and my thoughts and other people is level. My interactions with others feel effortless and fun. I miss that. I still miss that. But I am very aware that ease and release is a lie, and a large percent of that mentality is just alcoholism talking, building that chasm so I feel like I have a reason to try to fill it with booze to feel “level.” I accept my usual coping mechanism is a problem. It’s a disease. I accept that I have to work hard for things and relationships that work. I accept that means I need better tools for when I feel exhausted and tapped out. I sleep. I sew. I watch Law and Order. I celebrate that I think differently and friendships that make all the divergent thinking feel more normal. Good things come from the effort. Nothing good comes from my easy way out.
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terrified of giving up MY BOOZE after 45 years of drinking. I was terrified of one day at a time, because I could not get my head out of the future. That’s when I can up with my sober mantra. “I’m not drinking today, and I’m probably not drinking tomorrow.”
And I stayed very active on here venting, supporting, writing gratitude lists, and checking out the fun threads too.
It’s scary giving up a best friend.
And it’s also the most freeing thing I’ve ever done in my life.
We got your back.
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If it helps, something else that was suggested to me was to put pen to paper. To write down the reasons I wanted and needed to stop. Everything drinking was costing me and had yet to take from me.
And also what I hoped to find in sobriety instead. What I really wanted out of life I just couldn’t do drunk.
It really brought into focus why I wanted sobriety. And any time I’m in doubt, I pull it out and read it. Remember what it is I’m after even if I forget!
Seeing in that way, it’s much less scary and a lot more, “Hell yes! Let’s do this!”
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Not an easy ride to start with, sweating, insomnia, feeling of dread, nothing to do, cannot concentrate etc.
It does pass, now I wake up feeling good a not wondering what stupid things I did the night before
I have also noted that a lot of my friends actually drank far less than I did and that my consumption was way above normal.
It did take a few years to realise this.
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You guys are amazing. I’m so touched at all the responses. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. It helps my head and heart so much
Today is my dad’s 80th Birthday. He’s pretty spry for his age (he stays active and stopped drinking years ago). He told me that he was proud of me for committing to sobriety, and that it was a great gift to hear that from me in time for his Birthday. Damn…made me tear up…lol
Day 5. Still freaked. No pink cloud here lol. One Day at a Time.
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I don’t think I was consciously terrified but there was a certain level of anxiety thinking about NEVER having another drink. So I stopped thinking in terms of “never forever” and started thinking in terms of “not today”. One day is much less scary.
YOU CAN DO IT!!
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