I’m so proud of you Gurl 
Thanks for the nice share. I do share your story a bit. I’m glad we got to help each other out. Give the pets a scratch for me 
Keep doin what your doin.
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Well… who ever got the understanding that getting on the way for recovery feel that fear at first days, it is Very normal because your fears will get you to be brave and fight back 
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Read this today. Looks like as good a place as any to post it.
Fear of……….
Turns out to be such a huge, driving force in my recovery. I’m also finding out fear is also me living in my future.
ODAAT
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I’m not at all fearful of the giving up part. I’m fearful of relapse, because it’s snuck up on me in the past and gave me a case of the fuck-its, where I threw any length of sobriety away and had to go through the same start up process again, which is just so draining. I was in a meeting last week with someone who told how they relapsed after a little over 10 years sober. Now that is scary. Is there ever a point we can let our guard down even a little bit?
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I was scared of facing life without drinking, until I was also faced with life without my wife. Then I wasn’t afraid of sobriety anymore
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I had a friend/coworker at my last job with about 10 years of sobriety. I remember her talking about how she was considering drinking again. I told her that I hoped she wouldn’t. Well, she took up again. I don’t know how she is doing now I’ve lost touch. Probably not great if she’s still partaking. I DO know she didn’t go to meetings or anything like that. I don’t recall her ever really putting in maintenance work to keep it going.
I was so half-assed about quitting for so long. Didn’t want to commit to a life of sobriety that I had to work at for the rest of my life. But it’s either do or die, so I’m choosing the commitment and taking one day at a time. I don’t think we can let our guard down. It has to be a lifestyle now, the maintenance I mean.
@Dazercat I find that I’m afraid of things that I really want. Sobriety was/is one of them. I think low self-esteem led to self-destruction. I felt like I didn’t “deserve” a good life or some bullshit like that. Well screw that…I’m actively trying to change that mindset day by day. Thanks again for the post 
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@GenG Yes. I was scared to give up drinking. Chardonnay was my companion and friend. It was a way for me to pretend I wasn’t unhappy and lonely. Facing the truth of my life hasn’t been fun or enjoyable. But it is my reality. And it was scary to give up that crunch. But ODAAT and no hangover mornings.
This app is filled with lots of support and resources. These were vital when i first started my journey.
Take care.
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Yes, i can definitely relate to this. Alcohol was my coping mechanism for just about everything.
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Yep, but ive realized that fear is what keeps me motivated to continue my sober journey. One day at a time!!
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What an amazing and inspiring thread this has turned into! 
I am not sure I have anything to add that hasn’t already been said one way or another. Although ofc I am still going to say it anyway 
A big yes to the fear of the future. And another to alcohol masking a whole load of avoidance of dealing with things. After about 5 months alcohol free my mental health really crashed. And then my physical health. The two are likely linked (iron along with other vitamin deficiencies). Anyway despite things being quite a rollercoaster since, I still can’t think of a single situation that I honestly think a drink would improve. It has been a journey of self awareness and self acceptance and it’s been tough but I do not regret it for a single moment.
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I’m so glad you referred to it as your best friend because that’s what I have always done, even though it’s like that girl in school that relentlessly made fun of me and then became my .’friend’ because she fancied my brother! 
but through all the awful things that happened I could rely on alcohol to always be there 
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This thread has been so helpful to me over the weeks.
Day 26. It’s easier than it was. One day at a time.
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Just keep going and if you feel like things are escalating call 911. Detox from alcohol is no joke. I have drank hard liquor for the last 10 years and I’m just now coming through. I hope that the god of your understanding will bless you and I will pray for you! You are stronger than this!!!
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Man 26 days you are doing great my friend!!!
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16 days you have got this!
I hope the god of your understanding shows you that you can beat this. Hell I’m 44 years old and I have got to believe in something greater than myself! Keep it up
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Keep up the good work my friend. If no one else is here I am and man I am a true addict. I have a wonderful wife and children but this can affect the greatest of people. You have this 
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I was thinking of buying that book actually, is it helpful for longer sobriety?
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I was. I thought I was not going to be able to live my life without alcohol. I thought there was not going to be a “me” without alcohol.
Oh, the stronghold that it has over us and we are able to overcome it a good bit of the time.
I absolutely 100% cannot imagine my life with me continuing as a drinker.
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