Addiction takes everything you have and then wants more. You will say and do anything to chase those half seconds of false happiness. Escaping is possible, but immensely hard. The reward for surviving a day with out relapsing is getting to do it all over again the next day.
Recovery is possible and things do get easier but you can never be complacent as addiction is always waiting, watching and hoping you weaken.
Indeed, those expected few seconds of hapiness is actually all a lie we for some reason want to believe/ignore.
One of the things I am learning this year is that what seems to be contradiction is really duality. Two opposite things can be true at the same time.
The objectification of addiction as something separate from us is a popular and comforting way to approach recovery. But I have to reconcile that I will have addictive patterns of thinking and doing along side the sober patterns. I have had the idea in the past that my alcoholic self is a frightened, crying, defiant child inside me. And the best way to deal with that long term is to recognize it, to recognize the fear, terror, dread that drives the attitudes and actions of that child. If I can acknowledge that child and the fear he lives in, then I can deal with it better than if I deny that it really is me.
This does not mean, for me, that return to use is inevitable, or that sobriety will always be a struggle. It does mean that when I have a solid inventory of my psychic makeup, then I can move from a place of understanding, rather than denial. When I deny, that is when that part of me, subconsciously, begins to gather psychic strength that will eventually burst into consciousness in one form or another.
It is very important to remember and recognise our addictive behaviours. Ignoring it is not an option as that is how things can creep in.
“Oh I deserve a break”
“this time i will be in control”
And other lies I’ve told myself. Therapy and addressing last memories and self worth really helped me. Gave me the edge I needed in battling my addiction
I agree with ur post very much! When i was 21 years of age, I entered 12 step meetings for a drug problem i was struggling with since 15. I did what was asked of me, worked the program, and I gained 3 years of clean and sober time. But once i got my 3 years in, i for whatever reason began to get complacent. Stopped doing the daily things i needed to do to be clean and sober. And eventually those “lies” crept in. And i caved. And unfortunately stayed out in the problem for over 10+ years.
Now having this information in my mind, I know that we only have a daily reprieve from our addictions. Addiction never took a day off, so why should we in recovery right? Some days are busy now that i have 4+ years clean and sober, but I always make time for something recovery related. Prayer for sure but i will also read literature, come on here, attend a meeting etc Its important that I take care of all parts of me… spiritual, physical, emotional, and mental 
@Butterflymoonwoman - so well said and on point!